Perhaps the one time we would welcome the cries of a child is
during child birth.
That moment signals the beginning of a new chapter in a couple’s
life and the end of nine testing months for the mother.
But those who know say the final hours before the child is born are
perhaps the most emotionally charged, and physically draining- not
just for the women.
To a much lesser degree, the husbands who choose to be present in
the labour ward also go through a rollercoaster ride.
Mubin Saadat reports from the frontlines of the labour
ward:
From the days when all the man had to do was sit at home and wait
for the bundle of joy to arrive, his role in childbirth has changed
significantly.
Men are now drawn in throughout the entire process- from ante natal
appointments to childbirth classes.
But it’s the final hours of childbirth in the labour ward that
probably have the greatest impact on the husband - that is, if he
lasts the process.
Dr Chee Jing Jye, Head of Peripartum Unit, KK Women's and
Children's Hospital details the extent to which husbands can get
involved in the birthing process.
" In KK hospital husbands were first allowed in the labour ward in
the 1990s. That's when we started having single beds in the labour
ward. And husbands are encouraged to support their wife during
labour as well as share with them the birthing experience. For
patients who deliver vaginally, the husband can stay with the wife
in the delivery suite throughout the labour. After the delivery,
the husbands can opt to cut the umbilical cord. In selected cases
the husbands can even accompany their wives into the operating
theatre should the need for a caesarean section arise. "
Nowadays, the husband’s presence in the labour ward is common
place.
Some husbands play the role of a spectator, while most are active
participants in the process.
Dr Jazlan Joosoph, Specialist in Obstetric and Gynaecology at
Raffles Hospital:
" By and large, the vast majority of husbands would like to be
present, would like to participate as much as they can in the
labour process. Very exceptional cases would be when the husband
has a phobia for blood or bodily fluid and they are not comfortable
at all being in the labour ward. This very rarely happens. I have
had a few patients like that. The husbands choose to stay away and
wait outside the room until the whole labour process is over. Then
they come in. Some husbands are very averse to seeing their
respective spouses in pain and distress and they cannot handle it.
In such a situation we advise the husband to step out for awhile.
"
Dr Jazlan adds that a proactive husband is always welcomed in the
labour ward.
In fact, husbands can play a rather crucial role in the birthing
process.
"Studies have shown that a supportive husband is good to have in
the labour ward and this can increase that chances of a normal
delivery and also helps to shorten the labour. The presence of the
husband will also allow the wives to be attended to full time
because sometimes the nurses maybe a bit busy with other patients.
"
Dr Fong Yang is a Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist at
The Centre for Women & Fertility at Mount Alvernia.
He concurs that the help the husband provides does a great deal in
motivating the woman in labour.
"Most of the time its a supportive role, moral support. Just being
there to hold their hands. Just to be there and understand the pain
and whatever she's going through. And at the point of delivery when
the wife is pushing and working very hard, sometimes it helps for
the husband to be there and provide words of encouragement.
Sometimes just to hold the wife and support her head as she tries
pushing. All these little gestures give alot of motivation to
them."
So there you have it fathers, the experts have said it.
If you felt you had been marginalized in anyway, those words should
go a along way to putting your mind at ease.
You now have the stamp of authority to assert your invaluable role
in the birthing process.
Or maybe not…
"One incident I can recall was when I was a medical student about
ten years ago. There was this particular incident when the medical
team was focusing on the labouring woman when she was delivering
the baby and I was just there observing and suddenly I could here a
big loud sound on the floor and there was a tremor and we
discovered the husband had fainted. The interesting thing was that
the medical team was focusing on the wife and didn't bother about
the husband. I was a bit shocked. I think the medical team probably
knew the husband was going to faint and they didin't really pay
much attention to him. I was there to help him. He fainted because
he couldn't take it."
Fainting fathers aren’t the only interesting cases doctors have
seen in the labour ward.
Dr Chee has more.
"The most ridiculous would be one husband who responded to his
wife's screams of pain by slapping her face. And after awhile I
didn't know if she was screaming from the pain of her labour or
from the pain form the slaps she was getting. For that particular
case, after awhile we actually had to invite the husband to step
out of the delivery room."
Well thankfully, fainting fathers and slapping spouses are a
rarity.
The fact that trends have changed and husbands are now increasingly
involved in the birthing process can only be good for the
family.
But let’s not stop at that, fathers.
Let’s immerse ourselves deeper into the process of raising the
child as well.
I’ll leave you with Jafar, a father of two sharing his experience
in the labour ward.
" I would say the firsthand experience was a bit of a shock to me.
On my part, I helped my wife through the breathing process and
helped her to be calm in tense situations, and I felt I really
played an important role in the moment. For the second child I was
able to cope with the process easily due to my first experience.
And I was also able to understand the situation better and guide
her through the delivery."
--938Live