Taxi jokes

PrOfAtSiR SG

let me start the ball rolling....

Sil1606 SG

bros , out of topic ah …

but where is lavender street 81 ah ???

PrOfAtSiR SG

bros , out of topic ah …

but where is lavender street 81 ah ???

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=lavender+street+81

junction of lavender street and king george ave

Sil1606 SG

I took me a while to register when I pick up a couple from boon keng mrt yesterday .. haha

cos I told her .. miss … lavender there no street 81 lei …

she giggled and replied : its ok .. I guide u …

then on the way there I finally realised that she actually want to go there open room with her younger toy boy ….. but shy to say … hotel 81 at lavender !!!

when we reached, she said to me … u know the way mah …

my reply : I know hotel 81 @ lavender … but not lavender street 81 !!!!

she giggled again and give me $5.00 and ask me keep the change.

Angwk7118 SG

Jokes not new already post before Liao

[email protected] SG

A lot of things said. ..jokes repeated…but no harm listening sharing again mah

oldlee SG

tell you two jokes la,

1. In Beijing, smoking is free, just open the window

2. In Shanghai, pork rib soup is free, just turn on the tap

hahahha ahahaha haha very funny hor, not my joke, its our PM Lee's joke

He drew laughs — and some groans — with his quips, including one about China’s environmental problems.

“Beijing residents joke that to get a free smoke all they have to do is open their windows!” Lee said.

He then alluded to thousands of pig carcasses recently fished from Chinese rivers.

“(In) Shanghai, if you want some pork soup, you just turn on the tap,” he said.

oldlee SG

Biggest joke of the year

InSPirE78 SG

Z/friction might know this joke …

Chinaman went on board this taxi …

Td: “hi, where to ? “

Chinaman: “为什么！”

Td: “先生，去哪里？“

Chinaman: ” 为什么！“

Td: “什么为什么？你要去哪里？“

Chinaman: “武吉巴督为什么！“

Td: “什么武吉巴督为什么？！“

Chinaman: “where 死 more …”

Td: ” oh! West mall !”

Chinaman: “对对对！为什么！“

hei-tou-2 SG

last saturday was my first time into sgforum Palringo…...

then i overheard one broadcast…...

” hougang avenue 5 got three potenial pax, members nearby can try”

InSPirE78 SG

Got this Auntie from fortune center …

Me: Auntie, 去哪里？

Auntie: bedok interchange shing siong …

Me: 你要走cte, pie 还是 ecp, kpe, pie?

Auntie: 前面newton !

me: 前面newton ？！

Auntie: 前面 Newton! 前面 Newton!

Me: 前面 Newton 走 moulmein, cte, barltey, bedok north?

Auntie: 前面 Newton 啦！

Me go towards Newton, suddenly Auntie scold me!

Auntie: 你来 Newton 做什么？！！！我叫你刚才在前面 Newton!

Me very TU LAN liao … shouted back …

Me: 对啦！这里就是 Newton!

Auntie: 不是 Newton! 是 Newton!!!

Me think think think …

Me: 你是讲 U turn huh?

Auntie: ya lah!

Me: Auntie! Buay hiao gong angmo mai gong!! Si U-turn mmm Si Newton!

Rbs70 SG

In before this thread tio locked.......

Taxilim88 SG

One day, someone asked God. "Dear God, between a pastor and a taxi driver, who will you choose?"

God thought for a while, then said,"Taxi Driver".

"Why?", asked the person.

God replied, "When a pastor preaches, everyone sleeps. When a taxi driver drives, everyone prays".

[email protected] SG

a joke a day chases the blues away…many jokes a day..fortune will cum my way…he he

Poolman SG

Ah Tiongs on board .....

"师傅，高岭，去高岭 , "

Do u know where ?

InSPirE78 SG

Ah Tiongs on board .....

"师傅，高岭，去高岭 , "

Do u know where ?

Gul lane?

Poolman SG

Gul lane?

correct .... nabey eh 高岭 ?

Listen liao blur blur .....

Kell76 SG

One day, someone asked God. "Dear God, between a pastor and a taxi driver, who will you choose?"

God thought for a while, then said,"Taxi Driver".

"Why?", asked the person.

God replied, "When a pastor preaches, everyone sleeps. When a taxi driver drives, everyone prays".

Power bro ... Lol

[email protected] SG

Three men were drunk and they stopped a taxi. The taxi driver figured that they were not in their minds so, he just switched on the engine and switched it off and told them : “we have arrived”. The first man gave him money.The second one thanked the taxi driver. The third one slapped him (the taxi driver). The taxi driver was stunned because he was hoping that none of them had realized that the car didn’t move an inch, but he faked surprise and asked the third man: “what was that for?”.
The drunken man replied: “control your speed next time!!! you nearly killed us!!!”

In a very small alley two taxis driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse or give way… They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, “When you’ve finished the paper, will you please bring it over, and let me read it?”

BotaHead SG

pick up a pax from hotel and cheong all the way to airport, reach liao check meter for the amount then found out that meter didnt on..

pick up a pax who want to go woodland checkpoint cheong BKE all the way until stopping at the traffic light. pax ask to turn right if not go up the bridge will be inside JB already..

this count?