Being Twenty-Something
They call it the "Quarter-life
Crisis". It is when you stop going
along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of
things
about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start
feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but
then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe,
those
friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly
the
greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not
realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold
or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as
you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought
you
would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that
you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You
miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the
same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe
they weren't so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do
not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others
are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because
suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and add things to your list of what is acce! ptable and what is
not. You are insecure and then secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel
alone
and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try
and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the
past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to
do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do
such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but
maybe you can love someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you are not a bad person. One night stands
and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and
acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and
talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot
seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the
future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race
would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to
it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard
as we can to figure this whole thing out.
