A man went to see his doctor. He had a bad case of piles,
causing him excruciating pain. The doctor gave him a case of
suppositories.
The doctor asked the man if he would like him to put the first one
in for him. A little embarrassed, the man agreed. He bent over and
held his breath. He felt a sharp pain, then the doctor said,
Right, youre done. Insert the next one in about five hours. If
you cant mange it yourself, ask your wife to give you a
hand.
The man went home and laid down to recover from the experience.
About five hours later, he tried to put the suppository in himself,
but he couldnt get the angle quite right, so he asked his wife to
help him.
She told him to bend over, and put a hand on his shoulder to steady
him. When she stuck it in him, he let out a scream.
Sorry! Did I hurt you? I was as gentle as I could be, his wife
said.
Its not that, he said.
He stood up and looked at her. His face was as white as a ghost.
His wife asked him,
What is it then?
When the doctor did it for me, he had both his hands on my
shoulders.
Gays Cartoons Characters
TINKY WINKY
The Reverend Jerry Falwell recently claimed that Tinky Winky, from
the Teletubbies childrens television show, was clearly a fount of
gayness. His reasoning is because the character is purple (a gay
color), has an antenna in a triangle shape (a gay symbol), and he
carries a purse. However, as I see it, Falwells work is far from
over.
FRED FLINTSTONE
Evidence: His nickname on the Bedrock Bowling Team is
Twinkle-Toes, the shows theme song ends with the phrase, Well
have a gay old time, he wears a little orange dress with triangles
on it, and he hangs out with Barney more than Wilma.
BUGS BUNNY
Evidence: He often stands with his hand on his hip, he played a
hairdresser in one episode, he frequently dresses in drag, and he
loves to throw on a top hat and tails while belting out Broadway
show tunes with his buddy Daffy, who, its worth noting, speaks
with an obvious lisp.
VELMA (of Scooby Doo)
Evidence: She always tries to sit next to Daphne in the van, she
sports an obvious butch haircut, she has broad shoulders, she is
always wearing a thick turtleneck sweater and knee socks, and she
never once attempted to shag Shaggy.
POPEYE
Evidence: He eats lots of salads, wears a sailor suit even though
he hasnt been on a ship in years, frequently does little sailor
dances, dates a flat-chested transvestite named Olive Oyl, and his
best friend is named Wimpy.
BATMAN & ROBIN
Evidence: Robins nickname is Boy Wonder, Batmans real name is
Bruce, they both wear tights, and they both in great shape.
PEPPERMINT PATTY
Evidence: She has a deep, gravelly voice, she always wears pants
and not dresses like all the rest of the Peanuts girls, she plays a
mean game of football, she is always hanging out with the very
androgynous Marcie, she always wears comfortable shoes, and her
nickname is Sir.
PINK PANTHER:
Enough said.
* * * * *
Ask any man what a woman's ultimate fantasy is and they will tell
you, to have three men at once. According to a recent social
logical study this is true, however most men do not realize that in
this fantasy, one man is cooking, another is washing and the last
is cleaning.
------------------
~CloneMe~
It can't rain all the time.
[This message has been edited by ^3rdWatch (edited 23 May
2002).]
