about chinese language and chinese culture in singapore

hexi SG

Do you think some Chinese traditional values such as filial piety, loyalty and idea of chastity are still suitable or no longer suitable for modern society? Why?

akinkhoo SG

what make them "chinese value", are malay somehow more disloyalty? what have you implied by making such a statement? have you really think about what you are trying to say?

hexi SG

The expression may not exact...yes, these values are represented in almost every culture as well...but they are reflected on Chinese in a special way (of course, those are always in a different way in different contexts, and that is the culture)...for example, with regard to filial piety, we're sure that everyone respects and loves their parents, but for traditional Chinese, it is far from enough. They highly appreciate male child since "there are three ways to be unfilial, the worst is to not produce son"...that is one of the Chinese values...

i made that statement to investigate how Chinese culture is maintained in this land rather than judging or something...i did not intend to offend anyone...

Jiani SG

yes. they are all important

Yui Hirasawa SG

yes. they are all important

Esp fillial to parents.

hexi SG

yep...we Chinese really appreciate filial piety...but on the other hand, would you like to give up something important in your life to make them happy such as marriage freedom?...in my case, i think i cannot...so i have to admit i am converted in a way.

BanguIzai SG

There is always a contradiction that I cannot answer. How about you? I share here:

I often hear people around me say, they want to earn lots of money so they can give their parent good life. Eg, they want to bring parent eat the best lobster, best seafood, get the best electronic leg massager.

But I think, what if you know (in our modern knowledge, in 2011, we cannot feign ignorance) that the best lobster and best seafood has the most unhealthy cholestrol that will kill them? But in parent's mind, this is what they want to eat. Which is more filial? To educate them to stop eating unhealthy food (which they decide not to listen because tasty food is more savoury than thinking about heart-attacks and cancer) or suit them (meaning if you can afford giving them such food, by all means go ahead).

So which is more filial ?

hexi SG

There is always a contradiction that I cannot answer. How about you? I share here:

So which is more filial ?

I know what you mean. Filial piety is not that we should satisfy all the demands of parents. And it does not mean we don't love them or respect them. We just express our love and affection in our own way they may not expect. But one could not say it is not filial piety, after all, our intention is really for their sake.

BanguIzai SG

In Aunt Agony, I can see this kind of families:

this

http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/433903

http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/430347#post_10251284

I am wondering, how to talk about "filial piety" when even there is basic problem with the behaviour of the parent?

hexi SG

In Aunt Agony, I can see this kind of families:

this

http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/433903

http://sgforums.com/forums/12/topics/430347#post_10251284

I am wondering, how to talk about "filial piety" when even there is basic problem with the behaviour of the parent?

In those cases, it is hard to get along well with their parents. As an independent human being, one should be capable of making decision for his/her life and responsible for it when taking parents' suggestions into account.

And keeping some certain distance from parents can be regarded as a choice to avoid fierce conflict. In spite of inappropriate speech and behavior, those are the parents who really care about their children. We still need to understand and take care them in any case.

Maybe it is not traditional filial piety but more suitable for the society nowadays.

Blacktron SG

Chasity is another important value.

BanguIzai SG

Maybe it is not traditional filial piety but more suitable for the society nowadays.

Ya. These are the intricate issues that are the real burning issues over filial piety, loyalty, when parents themselves are stubborn, naive or cannot be helped themselves. I do feel that Confucian ethics has its share of limitations, and one cannot apply without compromising some of the issues at hand.