IT IS true that - as yesterday's report, 'Who's really caring
for Singapore's elderly?', suggested - maids have become a
permanent fixture in families with elderly people.
But it is heartening to see children of the elderly accompanying
them to medical appointments at hospitals and clinics. Many
children of the elderly are baby boomers in their late 40s and
early 50s. Most belong to the 'sandwich generation', where they
have to care for their ageing parents while supporting their own
children.
Maids play an important role in the larger scheme of elder care.
They undertake many tasks that may be mundane, but are physically
demanding.
My parents are in their 80s and I am their main caregiver. My
siblings are very supportive through sharing in the financial needs
of their care.
My siblings, who are older than me, also make deliberate and
willing efforts to visit as well as spend time with them. For this,
I am grateful and immensely appreciative.
We have the good fortune of having a father who helps out in
caring for my mum.
We are also grateful in having Methi, our maid, who is now very
much a part of our family. She is patient and meticulous. And she
is good with my parents who find her pleasant and kind.
While the physical support of looking after our elderly can be
fulfilled by maids, the emotional as well as mental needs can never
be relegated to them. This needs time and much effort.
The most basic daily interaction beyond the family gatherings
during special occasions are critical to the well-being of our
elderly.
Most often, what they need is a family member to chat with - and
not feel neglected or abandoned.
I agree with Professor Brenda Yeoh's suggestion in yesterday's
report ('Peg levy to maid's skill in elder care?') that more can be
done to recognise the role of maids in caring for the elderly.
A more important dynamic in the new caregiving relationship
between the elderly and maids is how we as family members treat our
parents.
Maids will, like our children, take their cues from how we show
respect and love towards our parents.
Bernard Law
