I REFER to Ms Hannah Chee's letter ('Does ad convey right
values?'; yesterday), criticising the TV advertisement on filial
piety.
I enjoyed the ad as it highlighted tensions between young and
old. And these tensions do not only involve adult caregivers, but
the entire family as well.
In this case, the teenage son is disdainful of his grandmother's
difficult ways and the trouble they cause his parents. He leaves
the dinner table in anger when his grandmother criticises his
mother's cooking. The father tries to placate his mother by asking
her if she wants something else to eat.
One view of the ad, as Ms Chee suggests, may be simply that one
should accommodate unreasonable, and possibly matriarchal,
demands.
My view is that the ad captures a slice of the complexities of
life with the elderly.
Social and practical adjustments must be made when the elderly
decide to live with their children. These include physical changes
to the home such as installing handbars in toilets and making the
home barrier-free.
Often, changes in social relationships and the physical
environment may result in disagreements between family members.
As women are typically the main care- givers, they bear the
brunt of the stress and strain of the relationship between adult
caregivers and elderly parents.
In this respect, I agree with Ms Chee there was a need for the
husband to be seen to comfort his wife in the ad.
However, I disagree with her view that an ad portraying a
well-adjusted family visiting the grandparents would have been a
happier way to instil filial piety.
Elderly parents and their children may choose to live apart. But
visiting a healthy elderly parent once a week is different from the
concerns and stress faced by those caring for the elderly with
health or other issues.
It is also different when weighing the benefits and
disadvantages of institutional care for the elderly, which involves
financial and emotional concerns.
These are difficult issues which deserve representation. It is
easy to preach the virtues of filial piety without addressing the
real tensions involved in elderly care and the relationship between
the elderly and the young.
While this advertisement has its rose- tinted moments, I laud
its attempts at realism.
Kelly Fu (Ms)
