THE Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware) seemed
to suggest last Thursday ('Singapore still far behind in true
gender equality: Aware') that women are free from blame for the
declining birth rate in Singapore.
In Singapore, most parents urge their children to excel in
studies and focus on their career. Few prepare their children for
the rigours of parenthood.
Many households also employ maids. As a result, our boys and
girls grow up lacking parenting skills and are clueless about
household chores. The boys, however, have responsibilities forced
upon them in the form of national service. Not so the girls. They
are free to place personal ambition above all else.
Many women choose to remain single because they do not see the
need or the urgency to get married. They do not need a man to
provide for them and they can always depend on their girlfriends
for emotional support. As for sex, few see the need to have it
regularly.
Even when a woman does want to get married, her expectations get
in the way. The man must be her 'type'. He must have a great job,
good income, be reasonably good-looking and he must also charm her
off her feet before she will contemplate marriage.
Our society glorifies the career woman. Lifestyle and fashion
magazines devote pages to tips for the career woman to get ahead.
Floors in shopping malls cater exclusively to the needs of these
women and credit card and insurance companies vie for their
money.
As a result, women are spoilt for choice. Egged on by society,
free from national service and reservist obligations and not
needing a man, they are totally free to focus exclusively on their
careers. Choosing to get married and have children is committing
career suicide.
The conclusion is inevitable. We have raised a nation of 'spoilt
princesses' unwilling and unable to handle the rigours of
motherhood.
Sulthan Niaz
