The San Francisco Zoo is giving the spurned and broken-hearted a
new reason to mark Valentine's Day - the chance to adopt a giant
scorpion or hissing cockroach named after a heart-trampling ex.
"When you think about the detritus of your love life this
Valentine's Day, consider adopting a Madagascar hissing cockroach
for your ex," the San Francisco Zoo said on its donation page of
Monday's promotion.
For those suffering the sting of rejection, the zoo recommends
the giant hairy scorpion.
"Just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the
scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the
prey," the zoo said.
For those feeling especially wronged, the zoo also gives the
option of having a notification sent to the person behind the
heartbreak.
Naming rights start at $25, and the spite money goes to a good
cause, the zoo said. In both cases, the donations will be used to
support research and conservation efforts.
"We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift
of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against
future romantic stings. Let the healing begin," the donation page
said.