Signature bottle of bourbon in one hand, "Amy Smackhouse" sticks
out the other one and slams down her opponent's arm, her latest
victory in a Washington women's arm-wrestling
tournament.
The tongue-in-cheek event aims at humor and to raise money for
charity, but there is a competitive edge of sorts.
In regular life, Smackhouse is called Andrea Kavanagh, and she
works at an environmental non-profit organization.
But on stage in the US capital Saturday evening, she dons her satin
red, white and blue cape awarded to the national arm-wrestling
champion and works to entertain the crowd.
Her bottle of whisky, a cigarette perpetually hanging from her
mouth, her heavy makeup and bawdy jokes are all part of the act: a
satire of British singer Amy Winehouse, who died in 2011 and was
known for her drinking and drug-fueled lifestyle.
"That's funny, since physically we are very different," Kavanagh
says with a burst of hearty laughter.
Arm-wrestling contests -- or rather the DC Lady Arm Wrestlers club
she helped found in 2010 -- are just for fun, and for
charity.
In the fall, Kavanagh will fight for her national title at a
championship in Washington.
But Saturday, the eight competitors were battling for the "Golden
Biceps" title and to get the audience betting heavily on the
outcome -- with all profits going to Knowledge Commons DC, a free
community school.
"We've been around for four years, and in 13 tournaments we have
raised almost $50,000," said Ashley Evans, whose nom de guerre is
"Sailor Slamrock," a rebellious leprechaun-style character dressed
in green and ready to rumble.
"It's also about women empowerment. It shows that we're just as
strong as men."
- 'Would you wrestle them?' -
Like in boxing, a platform is erected in the middle of the room, on
which stands a simple table where the competitors do battle.
Phil Yunger, a gray-haired retiree who bills himself as a tough
Army vet, serves as the completely corruptible tournament referee
-- who pledges to turn bribe money over to charity.
"The ladies? Oh they're a pain in the ass. They're arm wrestlers.
Pinch yourself, would you arm-wrestle one of these people?" he
says, tongue-in-cheek.
"Margaret Thrasher" storms onto the stage, showing off her fake
Union Jack tattoo, a homage to her pretend British heritage.
Dressed conservatively, with her hair in a severe bun, she mimics
the high-brow British accent of the former prime
minister.
"My technique is very simple," she joked.
"Usually my opponents start by looking down my blouse, but then
they realize that I am this old, ugly lady and that's when I give
it all."
The technique seems effective -- Thrasher easily defeats "Jackie
O'Nasty," a character modelled after the former first lady of
president John F. Kennedy.
But maybe Jackie O was saving her strength for another
bout.
"Well, I look forward to seeing Marilyn Monroe on stage."
