After getting a warning from physicists, Santa has now
had his card marked by doctors: sleep deprivation and the
temptations of booze laid out by grateful families could turn him
into a public menace.
"Each year, Santa Claus and his team of elves and reindeers stay
awake for days and nights so he can deliver presents to children
all over the world for Christmas," say Franco Cappuccio and
Michelle Miller of Britain's University of Warwick Medical
School.
"But he could be putting his and their health at risk."
Cappuccio and Miller, making a cunning pitch for their new book
on the perils of sleep deprivation, assess the perils faced -- and
posed -- by Santa on his nightlong global trek.
Days without sleep, frantic all-night driving and tipples by the
Christmas tree all add up to a terrifying picture... of a
sleigh-crash in slow motion.
"Considering that he does it only once a year, it may not be too
bad for his long-term health," the pair said in a tongue-in-cheek
assessment on Tuesday.
"However, in the short term, there are risks.
"Lack of sleep will make him drowsy, his vigilance will fade and
his ability to think and remember will diminish. There is a risk
for himself and others -- he could fall asleep at the reins and
crash his sleigh."
Physicists have determined that, factoring in the different time
zones and rotation of the planet, Santa has 31 hours in which to
deliver presents to children in around roughly 100 million
households where the Christmas tradition is observed.
Taking into account the time he would need to come down each
chimney and leave the presents, Santa would have to travel at
around 1,000 kilometres (650 miles) per second to do his round.
Without the help of advanced physics -- ion-shield resistance
and travel between dimensions, for instance -- Santa, Rudolph, the
sleigh and the little elvish helpers would be instantly vaporised
by friction with the air.