Sugar Glider
These popular little marsupials from northeast Australia weigh
no more than about five ounces. Their lively and curious nature
helps them to bond easily with humans. Unfortunately, they’re also
social and nocturnal, and want your attention when you can’t give
it — at night. For that reason, it is recommended that you keep at
least two.
Owners should also provide an environment with branches or vines to
satisfy the sugar glider’s desire to climb. Additionally, their
diet is a subject of some controversy among vets and nutritionists.
The only agreement between these parties is that the diet should
include protein, insects and various vitamins and minerals.
Pet peeve: When gliders eat, they suck what they need from the
food and spit out the rest. As a result, bits of crescent-shaped
gunk pile up on the floor around the cage and stick to the
walls
Kinkajou
This nocturnal rainforest mammal is friendly and affectionate by
nature and, therefore, enjoys some popularity among exotic-pet
owners.
Despite their sharp, carnivorous teeth they eat bananas, eggs,
mangoes, Fruit Loops, marshmallows, and gummi bears. This preserves
their wicked, bacteria-loaded bite for when threatened or scared.
If you harbor doubts, just ask Paris Hilton: Her kinkajou sunk its
teeth into her arm and sent her to the ER.
Pet peeve: The kinkajou’s nocturnal chattiness has been known as
la llorona for centuries. If your Spanish is rusty, it means ”the
crying woman.” Need I say more?
Squirrel Monkey
Hailing from Central and South America, the squirrel monkey is
omnivorous, preferring to eat fruits, nuts, bird eggs, and small
vertebrates. Measuring in at about 2.75 pounds, they have a number
of predators, which is one reason they run with a posse that can
number as high as 500.
Speaking proportionately, they have the largest brain of all the
primates (that includes humans). Couple that intelligence with a
social and affectionate nature, and things like house-training come
relatively easy to this monkey.
Pet peeve: Any method of marking territory that a pet has is
bound to be a peeve, but when the squirrel monkey does it, he rubs
his tail and skin into the urine. As a result, he’ll mark any place
he goes next, like your lap.
Bengal Cat
No relation to the Bengal tiger, the Bengal cat is a hybrid
creation featuring pre-designed genetic characteristics that are
crossbred with the likes of something more exotic, such as the
Asian leopard cat. The result is a new feline breed that acts much
like a mellow domestic, but looks like he just walked off the
Savannah plains. Variations include the Serengeti, the toyger, and
the cheetoh. The more pure-bred the cat, the more costly; one sold
for $42,000 in 1998.
Although some consider the Bengal cat’s disposition more like a
dog, and thus, more of a man’s pet, I can’t help but detect a
woman’s hand behind this breed; it’s like the feline equivalent of
the sensitive, domesticated boyfriend dressed up like a dangerous
bad boy.
Pet peeve: There are no complaints beyond the typical ones
associated with cats, such as watching your nice furniture shredded
to bits by claws
Ball Python
There are two types of people: those who like snakes as pets and
those who don’t. It’s doubtful that the red eyes or exotic colors
of some of these rare variations will entice the uninterested.
After all, ownership in this case means keeping your 5-foot-long
ball python in a 30 gallon tank and feeding it dead mice, rats or
gerbils every 10 days for the next 30 years.
Pet peeve: Your $40,000 lavender albino ball python has refused
to eat. Out of options, you take the breeder’s advice and scalp a
dead rat, since seeing the brains of his prey might be enough to
entice him to eat.
Mona Monkey
This West African native is an Old World monkey who peaks out at
about 15 pounds and lives into his early 20s.
Like any monkey, he needs to move those crazy limbs. Owners should
provide them with an enclosure that permits climbing, swinging,
goofing around, and even hiding. His diet is fairly basic,
consisting of pumpkin and sunflower seeds, fruits, and insects. The
most difficult job may be monkey-proofing your home, since he can
outsmart or out-jiggle most baby-proof methods.
Pet peeve: Enjoy his broad range of vocalizations, which include
a loud, expressive lament, a danger alert that sounds like a
sneeze, and a territorial boom and hack
Hyacinth macaw
The hyacinth macaw can’t dance, roller-skate or ride a
unicycle like Big Bird, but he’s still big. The hyacinth macaw
weighs in at four pounds, and the world’s largest parrot species
also enjoys a tremendous four-foot wingspan. Not only that, but his
beak is so strong that it bends the bars of most cages without much
effort.
This South American native mates for life, is easily domesticated
and will probably outlive you. In the wild, he eats the nuts from
two kinds of palm trees, but one of them, the acuri,
he only eats after it has passed through the digestive system of
another animal.
Pet peeve: How long will it take before harvesting the recycled
acuri nut gets old?
Recticulated Python
Hailing largely from Thailand and Indonesia, reticulated pythons
represent the longest known species of snake in the animal kingdom.
And just how do you keep this monster happy?
Start with a fairly large tank for a habitat in which humidity
levels and high temperatures must be regulated with some
discipline. Adults don’t need to eat very often, only every 10 to
14 days, and when they do, they prefer dead guinea pigs, rabbits
and big rats.
Pet peeve: Breeders recommend getting a second person to help
you feed your reticulated albino type II tiger python; someone
needs to call an ambulance when it mistakes you for a carcass
White Lion
According to Forbes, as a pet this cub is the world’s costliest
animal.
The white lion is not a species unto itself; he’s your standard
lion with a potentially fatal flaw. The flaw is a recessive gene
that alerts both potential prey (wildebeests, hippos and adult
elephants) as well as predators (hunters) to his presence.
The problem with raising a cub is the same as raising some puppies
— they grow up. In the case of a white lion, that can mean reaching
500 pounds.
Pet peeve: Some lions are more prolific man-eaters than Jeffrey
Dahmer.
Chimpanzee
Eerily analogous to humans in life span, behavior and even DNA
(we share 94%), chimps have a hold on human fascination and attract
the likes of scientists, zoo-goers and potential pet owners. This
remarkable similarity also hints toward why they make for such
problematic and unmanageable pets.
A chimp can be house-trained, but he’s intelligent enough to have a
mind of his own. If he wants to raid the fridge, but fails to
outwit you, his 115-pound frame has another option — take it by
force.
His average upper-body strength is five times that of a human. With
a more sophisticated gripping capacity he could show you up at the
gym, but why bother? He can just maul you to death.
Pet peeve: You’re showing him off to friends. Then for whatever
reason, he appears smarter than you, and your friends laugh. The
chimp vocalizes — who knows why — and it sounds like he’s laughing
too.
