Start - October 6 2000
End - Wednesday January 31 2001 5.41pm
All that glitters in my eyes are a pair of concentrated emotions,
filled with past joy, old quarrels, warm hugs, hot kisses, present
desolation, injustice, sadness, despair, all form together so
concentrated but never to leave the corner of my eyes.
For have I forgotten what is it like to cry?
For have I been strong enough to swallow it down?
For have I pushed it so far back into my own emotional backyard
that it never seem to hurt that much?
For now I fear, not of where I shall go nor what I shall do.
Fear, of the uncontrollable guilt pangs that will hold on to me
like a mad dog, clinging on to me and ever growing, suffocating my
every breath, taking my life away and leaving me only a shadow so
thin, all it can do is desipate.
Fear, of losing my mind, as I anticipate the growing of the pain
with so much soul and emotion that I will get the fits as it
swallows me down as I tunneled into, ever falling into the hell
that was made by me, to me, and, will have only me.
