During the first date: keep the conversation light,
interesting and avoid anything philosophical,
sexual and personal in the first day.
1. Have something interesting to contribute.
Keeping abreast of current events and culture will provide you with
great conversation builders, leading with "What do you think of
...?" "Have you heard ...?" "What is your take on ...?" Stay away
from negative or controversial topics, and refrain from long-winded
stories or giving a lot of detail in casual conversation.
2. If there are people you especially want to
meet, one of the best ways to approach them is to be introduced by
someone they respect. Ask a mutual friend to do the honors.
3. Watch your body language. People who look
ill at ease make others uncomfortable. Act confident and
comfortable, even when you're not.
4. Before entering into a conversation that's
already in progress, observe and listen. You don't want to squash
the dynamics with an unsuited or ill-timed remark.
5. Have a few exit lines ready so that you can
both gracefully move on. For example, "I need to check in with a
client over there," "I skipped lunch today, so I need to visit the
buffet," or you can offer to refresh their drink.
http://www.redbookmag.com/your/how-to-make-small-talk
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/03/03/small.talk/index.html
ps: Judo is best learnt through sparring and
practising. You can't learn effectively by reading about
judo.