from http://community.livejournal.com/sg_ljers/1320534.html
thought it might be interesting.. :)
size
8 - 10 = fat
for those who are interested, this is what Sandra Leong wrote in
the papers on 25 Feb.
I thought I'd heard everything until H, one of my girlfriends.
related her story to me. Her boyfriend-now an ex, of course-
dropped the bombshell just two days after sending her a bouquet of
champagne roses for Valentine's Day. He wanted out, he said.
When she quizzed him for the reason, he said he could not tolerate
her putting on weight over the past year. "I'm scared of fat," he
moaned. "And I'm scared that one day, you will look so big that I
wont be able to look at you."
He added that though he loved everything else about her, this
weighty issue consumed him so much that he could no longer carry on
the relationship.
Now, H is nowhere near fat. She's somewhere between a size 8 and a
10. And she doesnt have any rolls of fat bursting from her clothes.
So there's no reason for the insensitive brute to feel that
way.
So it really surprised me that she didnt proceed to sock him in the
head. "No point," she said, with a sigh. "He cant love me for the
way I am and I accept that."
Yes, physical appearance counts to both sides, especially during
the heady days of wooing-if you dont look good to the other person,
you'd be hard pressed to even land a first date.
But once a man and a man and a woman have committed to a
relationship, like H and her ex had, shouldnt it mean that they
love each other unconditionally?
I quickly realised my foolishness when I posed the question to some
male friends, who spent the next five minutes whooping at the news
that one of their kind had told a woman she was fat-and lived to
tell the tale. They answered that if a man no longer fidns his
woman physically attractive- whether it's because she's puled on
the pounds or grown warts- the relationship is most likely a goner,
even if nothing else has changed.
"Its like having a pebble in your shoe," said one. "It doesnt kill
you but it bugs you like hell. Personality counts but looks cant be
discounted."
"Looks are to men what money is to women," reasoned another when I
sneered that all men are superficial. "So whos being unfair to
whom?"
It is not hard to point out that women are also so much more
forgiving when it comes to those we love. yes, we are hard on
ourselves- most women direct their scrutiny at themselves and other
women- but strangely enough, we can put up with paunches and
pimples on our other halves.
I, for one, have dated men of all shapes, sizes and defects, but
all were always good looking to me in their own way. If he had
small eyes, I thought he looked like Bae Yong Jun. If he was tubby,
I thought he looked like a cuddly bear.
I know of many other women who would do the same, and
unquestioningly too. So why cant men reciprocate such generosity?
Sigh, I guess it may be time for me to remove the blinkers from my
eyes.
***
and of course, we know the reply from Mr Sim S K. here is his reply
in its entirety.
Dear Sandra, your friend was dumped because she was fat - get over
it. between size 8 and 10 may not be obese but for a young Chinese
woman, that's fat. Her intelligent ex-boyfriend was probably
looking into the future after she's had two or three children.
Like your male colleagues have told you, women dont mind an
ugly man so long as he is rich enough. Men dont mind, well pretty
much anything, about a woman so long as she is beautiful
enough.
So your chubby friend should get off her ample bottom and exercise
or she can spend her life alone except for her good friends Haagen
and Dazs.
***
such a sweeping statement (in italics) and an
honest-to-goodness-true-blue-jerk. *roll eyes*
