just needed to let it out. emails flying back and forth. same
old calls every night. things havent been so bad since the time my
aunt had cancer...only, it's worse this time....=\ and i havent had
a good night's sleep in..err...nights. and i get it bad since im
supposed to be the 'psych student', they automatically assume i
know what to do...
my cousin who is going to 'travel around the world' alone has
apparently gotten a 'job' in Macau for 4 months. singing in a
casino :roll: anyone who knows anything about the situation there
will know that that's really just like prostitution. and it could
get worse. if she gets murdered, that's ok. no need to suffer for
weeks and months and years. but if she gets kidnapped and shipped
elsewhere to be a prostitute, she probably wont even have a chance
to try to kill herself to end her misery if she wanted to. everyone
has tried to tell her not to accept this 'job'. ok. no one knows
for sure if it's dirty business or if she really will just get a
nice and clean singing job. but there's a huge chance that she'll
get into some sort of trouble there. the one person whom she might
listen to is her brother. and he told anyone who tried to tell him
about the dangers there that it was 'old fashion chinese thinking'
and so he too is encouraging her to go. my cousin's parents are
divorced and my aunt (and uncle) really had to work hard for their
kids. my aunt had cancer about 10 years ago. and recently i went
with her for one of her checkups and things arent looking that good
again. and now she has to worry about her fucking stupid daughter
too. my cousin and her brother say that it's her dream to have a
career in performing. but i really dont know how many people who
visit the casinos in macau will see her as a singer, as a
performing artist. there's no one they will listen to. and if
nothing happens to her, excellent! but i'll be damned if she comes
home happy and safe. there are times when it's good to pursue one's
dreams and take risks. but it's fucking stupid when you also put
your life at risk. like...say if your wish is to get rich. someone
offers you 1kg of pot to bring into singapore. and if you manage
that, you'll get a billion dollars a year. WILL you actually even
consider doing it...?
and whoever said chinese triads and gangs are only stuff you see on
TV. though i really dont know much about triads on tv shows cos i
dont watch them much... but i do know they still exist in real
life. i know people 'in the business'. i've heard stories and i've
seen stuff. but no. my cousins decide that im stupid for
believing such made-up stories. and they blame my mom for feeding
me and my sis such stories...
yeah. great. i honestly wont care if someone like my cousins gets
into all sorts of shit and ruin her life. but i really do feel
sorry for her parents. and i feel sorry she is so fucking
stupid.
i used to 'hang around' with professors and the likes who had
gotten their phds at the age of 24 and achieved all sorts of great
things by a relatively young age. and it made me feel like such a
loser because i had actually thought they were the 'norm' and i
felt so stupid. at the age of 9, i got my first FAIL on a paper and
i thought, shit, there goes my future. im going to be a bum on the
streets forever. but now i think im pretty damn bright compared to
my cousins...
my dad's going to be in toronto in a couple of weeks and he said
he's going to talk to her. i know she has some respect (at least
more than what she has for her aunts and cousins) for my dad and i
really hope she will change her mind about going to macau. but i
doubt that'll happen...=\ i feel like giving up. but i'd feel
terrible if i never tried to stop her till the day she's
there.
there are times when it's ok to let people go astray so that
they'll learn their lesson. but this isnt one of those times. it
could be so that when she realizes it's not what she thinks and she
wants to leave, it's too late. there wont be time for any lesson or
regret. why do such people like her exist...there's really nothing
good about her other than the fact that she's extremely hot. that's
not going to last though.........hopefully she'll get lucky.
pfffttt...she thinks we are jealous that she gets to travel. she
thinks that we are trying to discourage her to travel esp since
she's going alone. but im all for travelling and travelling alone.
but i think it's pretty damn stupid if you dont know (and dont
bother knowing) anything about any place u intend to travel to.
even if just for a few days.....yeah. sweet. u'll learn when you
get there. try that when you dont know the language/culture and
people there dont know your language /culture either. whoever said
english is known everywhere. gimme a break cos nothings the same
anywhere.
