In scissors paper rock, I understand how scissors can beat
paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no
fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically
wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do
this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to
people? Why aren't sheets of ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you
why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit
up in 2 seconds. When I play scissors paper rock, I always choose
rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper
I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh
shit I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.
