Guys please be more
responsible
Extracted from http://www.abortionconcern.org/stories/story013.php
Abortion Story 013: Lynda
Lynda (USA)
June 26, 2000
I was involved in a relationship with a man 13 years my senior, who
had been previously married, and had one child.
We had been living together for 2 years when I had became pregnant,
unexpectedly, in 1988.
His immediate response was "abort this pregnancy." I resisted. I
was 22 years old, and other than a little inconvienence, had no
reason to terminate this pregnancy.
He continued to hound me, even taking time off of work to ensure
that I couldn't have time to think, and clear my head.
It came down to, that if I kept the child, I was to move out of his
house, and live alone.
I had recently lost my job, and had no prospects lined up, my car
was older, and about to break down, I had family, but they were not
in a position to help me out. I felt trapped and, hence, to make a
long story short, granted his requests.
I'll never forget it.
It was October 12, 1988. We lived in Tacoma. We drove to Seattle,
to the clinic. I refused to fill out the paperwork, and therefore
he did it for me.
I was taken to a dark room, and asked to drop my trousers, and lay
on the table with my feet in stirrups. I did. The nurse came in,
and held my hand. The Dr. came in, and began her work.
I felt a sharp pain. I took a breath, I heard a machine turn on,
and saw blood coming from my body through the clear tube and into
the machine.
The nurse was trying to speak with me, and was telling me about her
kids. The Dr. told me about her kids.
They turned the machine off, and the Dr. left the room with a
plastic bag filled with my blood, and my disassembled fetus, while
telling me not to move, she had to be sure she got "all" of
it.
She returned, with the OK to go home.
My boyfriend came in, and was estatic that I had gone through with
it. As we drove away, I felt like I had forgotten something, or
left something behind.
We returned home, and his promise to me to be there with me, was
totally false. He left me there alone.
At first, I was relieved that it was over, and then I was hit by
the most overwhelming, tremendous grief I had ever experienced. I
was also experiencing very bad cramps.
Four days after the abortion:
I got up to go potty, and felt that something was not right
inside.
When I wiped, I glanced down at the wad
of toilet paper in my hand, and saw, my 12-week old fetus. It's
head was smashed, and it's eyes were on either side of it's head.
It's body was attached to the head, and only the right arm and hand
remained.
I was shocked and horrified by what I saw.
My boyfriend saw it to. He was standing in the bathroom shaving,
while I went potty. He heard me say "oh my gosh", when he turned to
see what I was holding. He ran out of the bathroom, and kept
repeating, "I didn't see it, I didn't see that, I didn't see the
dead baby."
I just sat there, with tears streaming down my cheeks, as I held my
baby's hand on my pinky, trying to find words to say, of why I
failed this innocent child.
I had tuned my boyfriend out, to where he was just some noise in
the background.
I later phoned the Dr.'s office that performed the abortion, asking
them to clarify what I had seen. They criticized me, because, "a
baby does not form until the last trimester". They deceived me when
they initially told me that. It does not take a rocket sceintist to
figure out what a miniture hand, with four fingers and a thumb
looked like, or to know what it was I held in my hand that
day.
I sunk into a deep depression for two years, attended post abortion
counseling through new hope church, where I was mostly made to feel
guilty for "murdering my baby," and "disappointing god."
At night, I'd lay awake in bed, sobbing quietly, so not to wake my
boyfriend, who had turned from demanding, to insensitive and
unsuportive, and couldn't deal with me, given I simply just
couldn't "get over it".
My relationship with him ended. My experience did not benefit my
life, only damaged me. If I had been fully aprised to the full
impact, risks, etc., my position would have been different,
homeless or not.
I believe the abortion doctors deceive a person, for a couple of
reasons: one, to control the population; another, is to sell our
fetuses to labratories for beauty creams, and other medical
things.
I have so badly wanted to tell my story, ever since it happened,
but have not found anyone willing to listen, who cared, or wanted
to help another to validate their grief.
My hope, is that my true story will bring enlightenment to another,
so when another decision is made, they can have ALL the info to
make an informed decision regarding a very life changing decision.
My life has not been the same since.
Thank you, for letting me tell my story.
