Got this off another forum...
PICTURE
THIS
John is your average guy. Every morning he gets up, goes to work
and finds sexy little notes from his girlfriend Kristy promising
him all kinds of naughty things. Of course, that not only helps get
him through the day, it keeps him looking forward to the
evenings.
At least it used to be that way; nowadays it seems like John is
lucky if Kristy can drag her lazy butt far enough away from the
couch and bonbons to clip her toenails.
The last piece of lingerie she wore to bed turned out to be a pair
of crotchless panties that ended up that way after one too many
revolutions through the spin cycle. As well, Kristy seems to think
that simply rolling over and flopping her legs open is all that's
needed to satisfy her man on the rare occasion that she does go for
a little nighttime fun.
Unfortunately, more and more guys are waking up every morning to
the feeling of unshaven legs scratching at their thighs and
bunion-ridden toes sticking out from under the covers. It's a damn
shame that these hardworking guys have to watch as their once firm,
young beauties transform into cellulite-packing sasquatches who
won't so much as eliminate their mustaches, much less wash the
dishes that have been stinking up the kitchen for days. This
travesty has to stop before it gets out of control.
warning signs
We all know that this will occur at some point in every
relationship, but the question now becomes: How can you detect and
put a stop to it before it gets out of hand? Constant problems
within the relationship, a slight change in her appearance and a
lull in your sex life can be indicators that she might be headed
downhill.
New problems in the
relationship
She tries to catch you in the wrong. She wanders through the house
trying to find things you've done that might anger her. She goes
postal when she finds the toilet seat up, for example.
She avoids seeing your loved ones. She doesn't seem to care about
spending time with the people who used to be close to you.
You never go out together like you used to. Nice dinners and
dancing are merely a memory; she would rather rent a movie and stay
home.
She doesn't say, "I love you" anymore. She used to tell you how
much she adores you all the time, now you're lucky if you hear it
once a month.
Her personal appearance
deteriorates
She's a bit fuzzy. That once baby soft skin feels like sandpaper.
She won't even wear short shorts because of it.
She doesn't smell as good. She used to smell like strawberries and
cotton candy, but now she won't even wear the perfume you bought
her.
She doesn't dress up as much. She wears the same clothes over and
over again and seems to think that brown pants with a hot pink top
match just fine.
She doesn't care about putting on weight. Normally, she would freak
out if the scale moved up at all, but now she doesn't even notice
her developing belly.
Bedroom
issues
She no longer wants to experiment in the bedroom. The same old
position is just fine. And you can forget about those massage oils,
let alone the toys.
She says things like, "Let's get it over with." Intimacy has taken
a backseat and foreplay is a distant memory. Now she just wants to
hurry up and get through it like a chore.
She no longer seems concerned with pleasing you. She won't go out
of her way to make sure you are happy in bed anymore. She's happy
just getting from point A to B in three minutes.
