How U guys convinced the gal that u like that U are serious?

bus SG

How U guys convinced the gal that u like that U are serious in them despite receiving turn down from gals?

Gals will take time to see whether the guy who tell them he likes them is it sincere, serious in them before committing to them?
Is it true?

One friend of mine had a hard time to convince a gal who experienced bad experiences and now he did hint to the gal that he wants to leave her but the gal hint back "NOT TO LET HIM GO" but she is in a dilemma to the outing that my friend ask her to go out.
Jia lak.... It seems my friend can only wait and see how Sad

Leonhart_82 SG

Hard work boy...real hard work...slowly win your way into their hearts with your actions... Wink

FireIce SG

sincerity

toiletbowl86 SG

i dunno bout sincerity n others,coz to me,they dont really see that we r really sincere.anyway,try to understand her.if her answer is no,then move on.no use forcing her n wasting both time.

OrdinaryGuy SG

she should be able to know through ure actions and how you act towards the relationship. If she doesn't, it means she herself is not commited/bothered about the relationship or just plain blur Mr. Green

bus SG

The question is she does not want to give an answer to my friend!!!
My friend decided to leave her by hinting her saying he is disturbing her personal life by keep asking the question on going out with her..

she became so "kan Cheong" after "sensing" the hint that she SMS to my friend saying he is too sensitive and don't be so bad temper etc etc.....trying "NOT TO LET HIM GO" OR else she can just can't be bothered.

She told my friend of her past etc etc... and that's why she does not have trust in guys so easily. I just wonder is she going to live in this condition thru out her life?

In fact, my friend is going to meet up someone new soon and well, he is keeping the option open which I find it that it is beneficial to him instead of dwelling on to this STALEMENT currently

lurska SG

you seem to know a lot about your friend…

NeonTetra SG

by taking a stab for her jus like Yang Xiong did for Xiao Wan?

Nothingie SG

Patience....

Though I m my gf's only bf, i had a hard time chasing her...
mainly b'cos she seen the pain tat her frenz went thru when thier relationship did not work out... esp when my guy fren broke up wif her gd fren... i sort of got 'labelled' as 'bad men' too... Sad

but 1 thing i can tell u is tat juz keep ur faith & haf patience...
threatening to leave is not an option as it seems tat u r forcing her, so pls dun do tat...

time & effort is required.

PS: how come this kind of things always happen to 'our frenz'??? Rolling Eyes

bus SG

Originally posted by Nothingie:
[b]Patience....

Though I m my gf's only bf, i had a hard time chasing her...
mainly b'cos she seen the pain tat her frenz went thru when thier relationship did not work out... esp when my guy fren broke up wif her gd fren... i sort of got 'labelled' as 'bad men' too... Sad

but 1 thing i can tell u is tat juz keep ur faith & haf patience...
threatening to leave is not an option as it seems tat u r forcing her, so pls dun do tat...

time & effort is required.

PS: how come this kind of things always happen to 'our frenz'??? Rolling Eyes [/b]

Well, I knew my friend since our secondary school days till now so I some sort quite close to him.

I have some comments on this

1. Since my friend is going to be introduced to a new lady, why not open himself to more options? In this way, he can have a better choice as to who is more suitable to him rather than holding on to this case? Agree with me?

2. From the hinting to leave incident, it can clearly tell that this lady is still concern about him or else she can't be bothered about him. Maybe she is hesitating about his sincerity but there MUST BE a
TIME FRAME for my friend to wait as he cannot wait for her forever right?

3. Sometime what a lady say we guy cannot take it 100% is what she meant. e.g A lady can say "she is not interested in a guy when the guy confess to her in the 1st place" but she might be seeing whether is this guy serious in her especially she is those that had seen/experience the PAIN herself resulting she cannot trust guys anymore.

4. What is need is TIME, PATIENCE and CHANCE for the lady to get over herself and have faith in my friend to make things happened.

Yes, I agree by forcing her is no use at this time as it will make her even more vexed, frustrated over this incident.
Maybe a very short period of silence say every 2 to 3 days before SMS/Calling her to find out how thing is getting on for her will help?

F.O.S SG

Originally posted by bus:

Well, I knew my friend since our secondary school days till now so I some sort quite close to him.

I have some comments on this

1. Since my friend is going to be introduced to a new lady, why not open himself to more options? In this way, he can have a better choice as to who is more suitable to him rather than holding on to this case? Agree with me?

after reading so many of your post regarding your friend, I feel that your friend is a coward. Even though given a chance of a new lady he also can't get the girl. Problem is not on the girl, your friend just simply Kia Su.

2. From the hinting to leave incident, it can clearly tell that this lady is still concern about him or else she can't be bothered about him. Maybe she is hesitating about his sincerity but there MUST BE a
TIME FRAME for my friend to wait as he cannot wait for her forever right?

From the above does not clearly tell that the girl is concern, if the girl tell your friend to jump down will your friend do that? Come on if ever single words the girl say you guys like to take it as likes and concern then just go on waiting till white hair grows.

3. Sometime what a lady say we guy cannot take it 100% is what she meant. e.g A lady can say "she is not interested in a guy when the guy confess to her in the 1st place" but she might be seeing whether is this guy serious in her especially she is those that had seen/experience the PAIN herself resulting she cannot trust guys anymore.

If you friend can think so much, care so much but her what else can your friend give being a couple? More? what more? The girl seems to enjoy and had enough from your friend. If you guy keep think she is testing, and keep think of she is suffering it seems that she is "enjoying" this kind of feelings.

By telling you guy bad experiance once you won't want to mention to her about it and you will care and feel for her, and can't even ask for further. "She cannot trust guys" ha ha I think you guys trust her too much.

4. What is need is TIME, PATIENCE and CHANCE for the lady to get over herself and have faith in my friend to make things happened.

Agree, time but no patience.
If she is concern, she will know that if she likes you friend by keeping it inside herself make herself worst. What make her think that your friend won't leave? "She read your friend like an open book" If you use the words patience you are not doing it willingly you are not yourself but just to get what you wanted.

Still don't know why you guys so sure that she can't get over herself, yes she did tell your friend but if she really siad it once then never mention again so how you tell that she can't get over it?
If she keeps saying and saying then I don't think she can't get over it .

Yes, I agree by forcing her is no use at this time as it will make her even more vexed, frustrated over this incident.
Maybe a very short period of silence say every 2 to 3 days before SMS/Calling her to find out how thing is getting on for her will help?

Dear bus,
why your friend so worry? If he think the girl really cannot get over the bad experiance, at least half a year till few year won't find a bf lah. SMS and calling her for what? make sure he is in her mind or first one in her list? I believe your friend had done his best to prove already, don't be a fool.

If I am a girl, I know that every few days you will call me I won't miss you at all I know you won't run away.

example:
By just telling you I had been rape and I don't tust guys anymore, I know you won't ask me more about the incident, and you will at least stay by my side as and when I needed you.

solution :
react as and when you are wanted, without her you still have others you do not need to response to all her request. If your friend like to behave like a slave let him be , no point for you keep posting and make everybody guessing with you and think what the girl thinking.

Question:
What makes you so sure that your friend is the only guy?
Any other guys going after her?
she go out with her friends? with other guys?

just my 1 cents, sorry if I offended you.

[/b]

bus SG

Originally posted by F.O.S:
[b][/b]

Hi, F.O.S. thanks for your valuable comments so far. well, just to let u know, the lady that my friend knows is not those young gals that U all think. She is in her early 30s and not much time left to be frank. My friend is also keen in settling down soon as he is not young either. she is old enough to think for her future and by this time, she still CANNOT so do, i think no one can help her.

I feel she is matured enough not to play the game of when my friend keep contacting her, she will play hard to get kind of thing liao. What is the problems of being persistence? If by the end of the day, this lady cannot solve her personal problems (by the way, her family background is also very complicated resulting her to behave a bit strange) then, no point to press on.

U seem to be an expert in going after gals, why not share some tricks here for we guys especially those single ones so as to settle our "personal happiness" soon?

Hope to hear from U.

Parka SG

You jump, I jump.

F.O.S SG

Not experts but being through abit of sweet and sour here and there.

It has been a few month that I read you topics.

If she is so hard to get, ask your friend to consider if really get her and she behave like that for the rest of her life can your friend take it?

Don't just rush in to relationship for money, house, time.... look into can get along her habits attitudes and behaviour.

if your friend still think he agree with what I prompt above, he should get the solutions.

Good luck to your friend Wink

Nothingie SG

Having mutiple targets? imho, dun think it's a gd idea. The ger may think u r not sincere or u r 'hua xin'... then she may want a even longer time to observe.

if she's concerned, then there is still hope.

bus SG

Getting along with a gal is just like getting along with your long term friends.... MUST have something common to bond the 2 together.

Well, I cannot help much but just to say a few word here

1. If this gal is spending her time testing my friend so as not to commit the same mistake she made many years back, then she is actually running into the danger of my friend leaving her if she keeps my friend waiting for too long. TIME FRAME. If she still behave like that in future, high chance she will remain single as I feel that no other guys can really accept this type of gal who refuse to commit and try to avoid RELATIONSHIP whenever a guy express "good feeling" for her. Sad to see this thing happen but it might really happen to her so long as she does not change her thinking.

2. Open up for more options is more appropriate for my friend to choose rather than sticking to this case.

bus SG

F.O.S SG

She herself is not worry about age why you guys worry? If a girl like a guy she won't test such a long time, and everything the guy do the girl always can give themselve excuse that the guy is doing it for good. I think her behaviour she rather be single than torturing your friend for whole life. I agree that guys should put in affort but there is a limit, else be sure that you are so "nice" forever don't ever think that after you get her you can relax.

Not even started a relationship yet should open up yourself to more chance and choices, there is no such think as testing before a relationship before really get along daily. Even though both are couple and never stay together evryday for 1 to 2 years you won't see the true colour.

There is not such thing as "she will change", "maybe after give birth she will change", maybe after a couple of year she will be better.
you guys can wait long long.

If you love a person, you better to telk yourself to accept his or her worst before you look for a long term relation. Things like digging nose, lazy, body odour........ many many..

my 1 cents