What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? -- 45
lb.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? -- 45
min.
What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? -- Sexual
Harassment
What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? -- $3.99 a
minute.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but
the dishes pile up.
How can you tell if your husband is dead? -- The sex is the same,
but you get the remote.
What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? -- Humpme Dumpme.
What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? --
Marriage
What's the fastest way to a man's heart? -- Through his chest with
a sharp knife.
What have men and floor tiles got in common? -- If you lay them
properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring
and good-looking? -- Because those men already have
boyfriends.
What is a man's view of safe sex? -- A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry? -- "Filthy" and "Filthy but
wearable"
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? -- After
a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? --
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.
What do you call a smart blonde? -- A golden retriever.
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? -- The guy who
can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen
donuts.
Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony? -- The woman
who ate the last donut.
What is the difference between a battery and a woman? -- A battery
has a positive side.
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has
the biggest breasts? -- The blonde, because she's 18.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? -- When you take it
off you wonder where the breast went.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? -- Two mothers-in-law.
