So apparently, Singapores employment climate is the best its
been in some years. Yay! That means you no longer have to stay at
home and watch MediaCock re-runs in the afternoon leow. But how to
make sure you get that job? Dun say we neh help you, hor. Here are
some TOP JOB-HUNTING TIPS
1. Be honest. Tell the interviewer that you see this job as only
temporary, until that Nigerian guy who emailed you deposits the $50
million in your bank account.
2. Be generous. Offer the interviewer a sip from your chrysanthemum
tea packet.
3. Show that youre a family man. If any of the interview questions
stump you, feel free to phone your mother.
4. Be gracious. Always compliment lady executives on the size of
their breasts.
5. Do your homework. Research your potential boss by staking out
his house in an unmarked van at least 2 weeks before your
interview.
6. Be resourceful. If your shirt has a stain on it, draw attention
away from it by leaving your fly open.
7. Be original. Your interviewer is probably sian of seeing so many
people in suits and ties, so theyre bound to find a guy in
t-shirt, shorts and slippers refreshing.
8. Be considerate. If youre wearing slippers (see above), maybe
also wear socks to muffle the sound a bit.
9. Use your ingenuity. If you pass gas during your interview, blame
it on the secretary.
10. Be thoughtful. Leave your interviewer a thank you card with a
small gift enclosed, such as a wallet-sized rectangular portrait of
the late President Yusof Ishak.
11. Be persistent. If you cant find the right job opening, find
someone who has the job you want, and kill him.
12. Be open. When it comes to job advice, always listen to those
flers on TalkingCock.com.
13. Simple. Be born into an elite fambly, lor.
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/article.php?sid=2329
