Hello.
Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online.
You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror
lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is?
Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is
concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics
Anonymous, we can help. We're a non-profit society of recovering
addicts like yourself that provides support and counseling through
weekly meetings designed to help you cope with your problem.
We feature a twelve step recovery program and in extreme cases,
interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never
"cured," you most certainly can recover.
We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an
addict. Do you:
1 ) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
2 ) Check e-mail more than five times a day?
3 ) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
4 ) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
5 ) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only to
hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company you'll never do
business with anyway?
6 ) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal
preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
7 ) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your
head?
8 ) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd usually
be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
9) See smoke rising from your computer or WebTV box?
10) All of the above?
If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you
have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:
1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORSWEETJESUSSAKE.
We're here, we're free, and we're confidential. The first step to
recovery is admission that you have a problem.
Call us today. If you can power off to free up your phone line,
that is.
