If ur best friend betray u, will u still befriend with her?

lv_gal SG

dun u kn that "one bad deed u did, for coutless good deed also wont cover it"

eg: father rape daughter; mother kill own flesh, ur friend had sex with ur partner, close one betray u out of $$$ etc

will u forgive them and remembred the good things they had with u b4? u able to forget the suffering they caused to you? if u can, well, i'm can say u r pretty noble... but i cant do till these stages. Sad

millennium SG

You are talking about extreme cases. I think it is better for you to make things clear before we carry on the discussion. Sooner or later you will come out with something new again.

will u forgive them and remembred the good things they had with u b4? u able to forget the suffering they caused to you? if u can, well, i'm can say u r pretty noble... but i cant do till these stages.

I would appreciate you make your point clear before I answer that. Looks like your answer is definitely a no and wouldn't accept anybody to say yes. Than why bother to post in forum in the first place?

angel911 SG

I agree as well. U see, there's no point telling yourself that all humans are selfish, although it's our sinful nature and bad habits to be more concern about our own self.

Instead, why don't we look into a different and more simple point of view? If we forgive but don't forget, then it's not not total forgiveness that most of you are talking about. It's very easy to forgive others verbally, but being willing to let go of the hatred and hurt the person has caused you, THAT is another thing. If anyone can do just that, then that IS TOTAL FORGIVENESS. Then, that is what we call forgive AND forget.

oceanic SG

millennium SG

A stupid idiot walked too fast at a junction and knocked down by a bicycle. The stupid idiot forgive the bicycle rider. And at the same time the stupid idiot MUST also forget the incident it in order to be TOTAL FORGIVENESS. The stupid idiot must not remember it at all.

So in future the stupid idiot walk at the junction again, the stupid idiot must not recall the incident and walk quickly as per normal.

This is what I call stupid idiot. Laughing

sillyme SG

when i was in poly.. i had a crush on this girl.. she was a beauty and i was totally infatuated.. tried my very best to know her.. but one day, i found that my best friend and her hit it off.. and they were together..

i struggled to accept the fact.. my best friend for 10 yrs, took away my favourite girl.. but somehow, the friendship took an important place in my heart.. i wasn't prepared to give up the friendship becos of a girl i was attracted to.. i accepted the reality and gave my friend my blessings..

6 yrs down the road, here we are.. still the best of friends.. nothing in the world i'd give up for this wonderful friend.. he's happily attached to another girl.. planning to be married soon.. Smile

it doesn't hurt to forgive..

angel911 SG

We all know that things happen for a reason. And if one were to keep living his life in hatred holding on to bad memories, then sad to say such a person is so unhappy. He'll NEVER live a happy life. Mark my words.

If you mentioned the above situation then you are missing the whole point. Maybe we should all stop blaming or calling each other names just because something bad has happened to our lives. Instead, why don't we take things as it is and accept the fact because what is done is done.

There's no point in blaming others and being rude. That is not mature. We are all responsible for ourselves, our lives. It's better to forgive the rider and forget what HE HAS DONE. I don't think he'll be so cruel as to hit you purposely. I'm sure it's an accident. And if such a thing happen, there's a reason. What reason? I don't know. It's for you then to do some soul-searching. Wink

Chill off, brother! Cool Laughing

millennium SG

If a person were to totally forget an incident and live as if nothing happen before, refuse to learn from mistake, I can confidently said that this type of people are just too stupid, far too stupid. People learn as they grow, people learn from mistake. By forgetting everything means there wouldn't be hatred, this type of people are totally hopeless. Mark my words, you are bound to meet into the same problem again if you want to act nobel forget everything.

If you mentioned the above situation then you are missing the whole point. Maybe we should all stop blaming or calling each other names just because something bad has happened to our lives. Instead, why don't we take things as it is and accept the fact because what is done is done.

Glad that you know the suitation missed a lot of points. The topic is just asking as general comment and I believed everybody are giving their general comment. You want detail comment, you give the detail. That is the basic rule of the game. Stop blaming others when you got your co[/b]ck hit on your head. Learn from mistake and not trying to cheat yourself telling the whole world you very nobel you willing to forget everything. When things happen again, you start to cry telling everybody you got hurt again because you didn't remember and learn from the past incident.

There's no point in blaming others and being rude. That is not mature. We are all responsible for ourselves, our lives. It's better to forgive the rider and forget what HE HAS DONE. I don't think he'll be so cruel as to hit you purposely. I'm sure it's an accident. And if such a thing happen, there's a reason. What reason? I don't know. It's for you then to do some soul-searching.

Chill off, brother!

Did I say anybody rude? I suggest you read my post few time before replying. From the way you put words into my mouth, I can see that you are nothing better than me. Talk about mature, grow up lah. Don't come here act like very mature like that as if you know a lot. Not even a 20 years old small boy come here act mature. You going to be the joke of the day.

Feel free to forgive the rider, do soul searching and think why the accident happened. REMEMBER THE INCIDENT AND DON'T WALK SO FAST AT THE JUNCTION IN FUTURE. That is the story. If you small boy just too dumb to realise the point, I can conclude you are just plain too stupid to teach you anything.

By the way, where is the one who help you por lan pa? How come didn't come out help you put thumb up this time? Laughing
wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

lv_gal SG

well, i had a friend whose is similar to you.... He was fond of a gal and was chasing after her. He given bought alot of gifts for the gal & does alot of things jus to let her happy. The gal also like him but didnt want to be his gf. One day, He introduced the gal to his 18 yrs long friend. Never know that, a few weeks later, his friend & the gal hit it off. After that, the 18 yr firendship was broken jus cos of this gal. The two guys seldom talk to each other anymore...

This tells that not everyone can forgive and forget. It's up to individual thinkins and how's they intend to treat it. For me, i can say "forgive" is a thing i cant fufill till now.
But after seeing different opinons mentioned above, I get to know tat there are ppl who can "forgive & forget"... Surprised

angel911 SG

Ok, maybe i was a little harsh. Cool it off pal.

Well, bro.. u still miss the point. but anyway, I learn from past mistakes and i'm willing to let go of every single hurt i experienced. I hope you would too. I did this not because it's noble, but it's only for the strong.

I'm wanna be strong, and willing live on my life, to be strong enough to face reality, to face my hurts, my problems. everyone have problems, we just need to face it. However, maybe u have grudges, maybe u have hurts. but that does not means that u should hate the person forever - whoever that hurts u. there's no point in hating people. that will make u even more miserable. If someone hurt u, it's painful enough, so to hate the person again and again, that's making it worse for yourself.

Maybe u should read my previous post...

angel911 SG

So far, I've heard noting but "Forgive & Forget". I've not heard about yours. But what Forgive and Forget REALLY means is that we forgive the person, forget the person's wrong-doings, and then, NEVER dig the past out from your mind again.

This means you forgive the person no matter how serious the offence is.

millennium SG

Another piece of junk from you, however this time you phrase your words slightly better. The ways you do things will only get you into same piece of sh[/b]it again.

I'm wanna be strong, and willing live on my life, to be strong enough to face reality, to face my hurts, my problems. everyone have problems, we just need to face it. However, maybe u have grudges, maybe u have hurts. but that does not means that u should hate the person forever - whoever that hurts u. there's no point in hating people. that will make u even more miserable. If someone hurt u, it's painful enough, so to hate the person again and again, that's making it worse for yourself.

Maybe u should read my previous post...

I suggest you read my post again and again and again before replying. You are just simply wasting everybody time if you can't read and understand my post. Perhaps you should take up basic English class. In all my post replies in this topic, did I said I going to hate a person forever? Not forgetting means hating a person forever? Not forgetting means miserable forever? Not forgeting means painful?

I suggest you don't reply if you can't read. Stop making a fool out of yourself again and again. Don't think by replying nothing revelant means you can get away from those things you posted wrongly. I suggest you read my very first post to you and reply from there instead of repling replying replying all the things that are out of point.

angel911 SG

I agree that we take any incidence as a lesson learned. Like if a best friend betrayed u. just forget his deeds, and when u said beware of him, true, but u have to see the situation. the friends u make r important, they can make u or destroy u. good friends r people who will help us grow, make us strong, encourage us. bad companies will ruin our future. we all know that.

but if a best friend who betrays u? if it's a small issue, depending on how u define it, then it's okay. if it's a big issue, then the best thing is to sit and talk it over. no point keeping a distant from him immediately after the incident. talk it over first. forgive and forget is only the first step. Talking things over is another.

Perhaps millenium, u would like to bring the conversation a level higher? this forum will be filled with philosophies. think it's gonna be great. hehe... Laughing

millennium SG

Glad you finally agree to my point.

but if a best friend who betrays u? if it's a small issue, depending on how u define it, then it's okay. if it's a big issue, then the best thing is to sit and talk it over. no point keeping a distant from him immediately after the incident. talk it over first. forgive and forget is only the first step. Talking things over is another.

Back to my previous point. The topic is replies based on general comment. The topic starter did not state how big or small the issue is and no there is no way for me give a definite answer. I mentioned don't forget doesn't means that I will keep a distance from him, doesn't means I don't talk things over. I guess you made assumption again.

Perhaps millenium, u would like to bring the conversation a level higher? this forum will be filled with philosophies. think it's gonna be great. hehe...

I am just a small potato in forum, my knowledges are very limited also. Neither I am smart or clever, I don't see the point in bringing to those philosophies. I would appreciate anybody who don't agree with me to come out with better logic and not just come out with something new base on groundless assumption or simply put words in my mouth. Worst still simply ignore my point and talk about else things.

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