http://www.menshealth.com.sg/hrship_files.asp?files=MarriedMenLiveLonger.htm
Studies have shown that married men live longer, have fewer
infectious illnesses, and fewer heart attacks. Jennifer Adriano
takes a closer look at why marriage is so beneficial to male
longevity.
Carlo, a 25-year-old father of three, has his hands full. Aside
from helping his wife take care of a two-month-old baby, he also
drives his two gradeschool children to school every morning, waking
as early as 4:30 AM to have the kids out of the house by six
oclock. He also puts in eight-to-10 hour workdays at the office,
and is working hard to pay his home and car mortgages, his kids
educational plans, plus other household and everyday expenses. His
same-age friend Sam, however, is more relaxed: he has all his time
to himself, spends two hours daily at the gym, and has an active
nightlife with buddies and gal pals. If not being married is this
great, he says in a pitying tone to Carlo, Then I wouldnt mind
staying single for life. Little does he know that if he follows
through with this statement, in the long run, Carlohe of the
bills, babies, and big responsibilitiesis likely to live a longer,
healthier and happier life.
If you stop and think about it, it shouldnt be so surprising that
wedlock affects wellness. In his popular book RealAge, Michael F.
Roizen, M.D. studied more than 100 health behaviors that have an
impact not only on how long we live but also on how well we live.
He reports that marriage is a critical relationship: "Happily
married couples live longer. Indeed, people who indicate that they
are happily married show a RealAge difference of as much as 6.5
years younger than their unmarried counterparts
If you are happily
married or involved in a stable long-term relationship, know that
it is making you younger."
Married men dont live longerit just seems longer, goes the
oft-told joke. But despite the harried husband stereotype, the
surprising fact of the matter is that the contrary is true: Studies
have shown that married men live longer, have fewer infectious
illnesses, and fewer heart attacks. Unmarried men between 45 and
64, whether they lived alone or with someone, are twice as likely
to die within ten years as married men in the same age range. Lets
take a closer look at why marriage is so beneficial to male
longevity.
Someone to talk to
In "What Men Secretly Love About Marriage," an article printed in
Redbook and Readers Digest, writer Joel Achenback says that wives
are mens main source of comfort: A macho man still needs someone
to cling to when afraid. Achenbacks main point is that marriage
helps the man move away from self-centeredness to a loving
"otherness."
Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, one of the most respected marriage
researchers in the US, says that without their wives, most men
wouldn't have anyone to lean on. "Guys' social support systems
arent as deep compared to womens much-lauded female bonding,
he says. "You ask most men who they talk to when they're upset and
they say, 'I don't talk to anybody.' But they do talk to their
wives." Even just having the daily connection with a life partner
gives valuable emotional stability. Fifty-two year old businessman
Pedro Roxas says, If you asked me what Id rather do at the end of
the day, have drinks with the guys from the office, have drinks
with a sexy 22-year-old who looks like a Sports Illustrated
swimsuit model, or go home to my wife, Id say no contest. My wife
is itwe have a life together, our own rituals, our own language.
Thats irreplaceable.
Home sweet home
Living in a home atmosphere reduces stress and stress-related
illnesseshaving a nurturing environment to wake up to in the
morning and return to at the end of the day is a source of comfort.
Married men also have care in times of illness and improved
nutrition. My wife makes sure that everythings running smoothly
in the household. When I started having arthritis, she made sure
the familys mealsnot just minewere low in salt and uric acid.
She reminds me to exercise instead of having that second beer,
says Mr Roxas. In short, she keeps me going.
That thing called love
A life without a nurturing relationship would tend to be unhealthy
and unhappy in its emptiness, says 55-year-old Eduardo Cu-Unjieng,
former president of Philippine Fuji Xerox Corporation who recently
started his own IT company. After 27 years of marriage, I feel
great! A happy and successful marriage offers contentment, trust,
security, the sharing of mutual goals and interests, and the solid
foundation and rootedness only family life can offer.
Believe it or not, most married people are happier with their sex
lives. "We think married people have the boring, predictable sex
and single people have the passion," says 43-year-old Roger Belo,
an entrepreneur. "But married people get more physical and
emotional satisfaction. Monogamy has its benefits. Over time, you
understand each others needs more."
Having kids
Another important factor in the link between marriage and longevity
is children. Raising a family encourages healthy behaviour, and
discourages unhealthy habits such as smoking, excessive drinking,
or using recreational drugs. Responsibility and being careful come
hand in hand, says Mr. Cu-Unjieng. I am fortunate to have learned
that raising a child requires a value set where family comes first
and foremost in everything. Allowing one's life to be guided by
this value set has its health benefits because with this sense of
responsibility comes focus, which results in less dissipation of
energy. Certainly, a sound set of values does wonders for one's
mental health as well. As 60-year-old William Go says, You have
to set an example. I quit smoking when my son was seven and I saw
him playing with a pack of cigarettes I left in the living room.
You realize youre not only living for yourself, but for your
children. I also knew I had to stay healthy to go to work everyday
and earn for my family; more importantly, to live long enough to
guide them into adulthood and see my grandchildren be born and grow
up, too.
DIVORCE MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!
According to the US National Institute for Healthcare Research, men
and women who have gone through divorce have a 40 percent greater
risk of premature death than those who are steadily married.
Divorced men who smoke have a 71 percent greater risk of early
death than married men who smoke do. Men who remained divorced or
separated were 120 percent more likely to face earlier death.
Comparisons of older married and divorced men also show that the
relative health levels of the latter drop significantly as they
age. By the time divorced men reach age 50, they can expect their
health to deteriorate much faster than the health of those who are
married. For this group of older divorced men, remarriage offers a
direct health benefit, bringing their health up to the level of men
who have remained married.
Perhaps warning labels should be attached to marriage certificates
reading, "Breaking this covenant may be hazardous to your health."
At any rate, keep in mind that working harder for a happy marriage
might not only save your sanity, but lengthen your life as
well.
