thanks for reading or clicking on this thread in advance
=))
this story is about me and this girl..
that night, i asked her if she could call me and talk on the phone
for the first time. she replied, 'must i call?'. i was rather
disappointed. and said, 'it's your wish'. moments later, i received
her call. and my life started to change.
i was having a meaningless life 'flirting' with girls before we
started talking on the phone. i thought my life couldn't be any
better, with almost every night on the phone, with different girls.
then it was her, who changed me unknowingly.
below is the story..
i found this girl, by the name, B. she was hurt when i first met
her..she wasn't able to forget the guy she liked for 4
years..though they were never together..and after listening to bits
and pieces of her story, i decided to be there for her, until she
is happy again. minor changes start to happen, without noticing,
she became the girl i talk to almost every night, and replaced all
my other acquaintances.
things got closer between us, she couldn't sleep without my smses
at 2am each day, she felt something missing without my call every
night, and was able to give up her time talking to other friends of
her's. i didn't tell her this before, but i was touched, and fell
in love with her.
few months later, after our poly life started, during the first
week, we sms each other like crazy everyday. i remember just 1 bus
trip to my school, we could msg up till 20times each. yes i had in
mind the cost of the bill, but it was a happy moment for both of
us. soon, we met each other up after school.
the magical week, i asked to meet her at xx shopping centre after
school. she told me she was gonna pick up something from there for
her sis, and i offered to accompany her. i didn't tell her this
too, many times, that night, and the 2 following nights we met, i
wanted to hold her hand. but i know i'm not allowed to. i asked her
out again on the same week, friday. this time we went vivo, met up
my brother and his gf. many people went between us when walking,
how i wished i could hold her hand and walk together. she never
knew..
i know i left her a good moment that night. and she asked me out
the following week, offering to treat me dinner for my birthday. i
was afraid at first, cause no girls asked me out before. i had no
idea how to react, and gave her a feeling that i don't wanna go,
but it's not true, i just don't know how to face her. she asked me
if i was free on monday, and said she wanted to treat me dinner. i
was wondering if i should go, and she told me something, that i
will never forget in my life. 'if you're not free on monday, we
shall go on tuesday. if you're still not free, i'll wait for you to
be free.". something like this..the words are rephrase cause i
couldn't remember word by word. so, we met. nothing much did happen
that night at vivo. but soon after, i met her on the same week and
we went vivo again. but this time, we spent most of the time at the
balcony facing sentosa. i decided to make this the day, and tried
hinting her on the bus to vivo, and at the balcony. if only she can
remember, i put my hand on her lap, hinting her to hold mine. she
didn't compromise, i thought that she didn't feel the same as i
did. i remember this period, i lied down on the ground, and started
looking at the stars. i was rather tired and thinking if i should
really hold her hand today. and at that very moment, her hand came
over to me and pulled me up. and i knew, i must hold it now.
but something bad happened straight after. we were holding each
other's hands tightly even when we are sitting on the bus. i felt
that she didn't wanna let me go, so was i. but i told her
something, that i wasn't ready. i was such a failure since primary
school days. never succeeded before each time i chased a girl. i
wasn't ready cause all these years, i've never been accepted. was
really relieved that she wasn't angry.
and that's how we got together.
at the start, we met around 3 times per week, having a good time
each outing. and we went ahead to kissing few days after we got
together. our love was strong then..
but problems started. i wasn't able to take her blog having more of
other boys than me. nearly every post has another guy's name. but i
know she didn't love him..he was just a friend. but i was just
jealous.
and this became one of the biggest problem.. i regretted for
nagging about this problem time and time again which made her feel
sick and tired of it..the outcome is always argument between
us.
now that i think of it, i should have given her more time..the fact
that she said she will change her blog and stuff for me when we are
stable..
soon, our 1 month anniversary came. i was so so sooooooo excited
over the weekends. was asking my friends what their bf do for them
during their anniversary. some tell me to buy her flowers. but ...
i was having financial difficulties at that time.. and i lied to
her, saying that i didn't have the time. felt really really
sorry..i'm such a useless boy. can't even buy FEW STALKS of roses
for her during our first anniversary..she even paid for our
movie..
more problems came in between us after that.. mainly cause i still
didn't stop my nonsense.. and made her sick and tired of the
arguments..i don't blame her for that..but i'm really really hurt
that even after i changed, she didn't give me the love i've always
wanted..she didn't stop showing disinterest with me..she didn't
show me love at all..but she used to love me more than i
did..
that day in school, i heard, we can leave at 10am but there is a
course for us at 4 to 5.30pm..i was fighting inside my
mind..whether i should send her home after school..and i made up my
mind to after that. gave her a call..and asked that question..i
didn't know that she will actually scream at me and insisted on
going home herself..she didn't used to show me this kind of
treatments..i believe its my nonsense that changed her..
recently, i left her alone to think through, what i have done for
her and what she gave me in return.. but turns out that she had
been thinking whether we should still be together..i feel like a
moron digging my own grave..
guys..my question is, how can i make us go back to how we used to
be?? i need advices if possible..i feel that she wasn't ready for a
relationship with me cause of her past..need advices .. i don't
wish to lose her..
thanks for reading =))
