Studies have shown that humans, like other primates, possess an
instinctive urge to "mirror" each other, so when you grin at
someone, they tend to grin back. People decode signals to determine
if we have positive intentions toward them, says Sanders, and more
than half of those signals are visual a smile says, "I like you,"
while looking away causes someone to withdraw from you emotionally.
Bottom line: Saying it with a smile can make anyone that much more
receptive to you.
Too shy to automatically beam at everyone? "Start small smile at
children or even dogs, then keep it going with adults who look
friendly and receptive," suggests Linda Kaplan Thaler, CEO of the
Kaplan Thaler Group ad agency and coauthor of The Power of Nice. In
time, you'll be grinning with confidence at everyone you
meet.
Get Personal
E-mail is a great way to keep in touch, but when you need to
communicate something important good or bad do it in person, or
at least over the phone, says Sanders. An online dialogue can't
fully convey how you feel, what you intend, or your irresistible
qualities, like that infectious laugh of yours. In fact, new
research published in the Journal of Personality and Social
Psychology found that people overestimate their ability to
demonstrate humor, sadness, and other emotions via e-mail. Your
voice and gestures, by contrast, clue people in to the real you,
including the feelings behind your words. When it comes to
displaying your winning personality, there's simply no substitute
for the human touch.
Tune In
Ever notice how some people have a way of making you feel like
you're the most interesting person on the planet? They seem riveted
by your every word, they laugh like crazy at your jokes and as a
result, their company is completely intoxicating. "Highly likable
people learn how to dial into the passions and feelings of other
people, and make a valuable connection," says Sanders. "When you
connect with what I say, you validate me which makes me feel
great and want to spend more time with you." To build rapport with
others, reflect their mood with your body language. For instance,
if someone seems down, project gentle sympathy by nodding and
leaning forward. "Physical feedback is a subtle way of saying, 'I
get you,'" Thaler notes.
What you say can have a similar effect: Ask questions or make
comments that show you're listening (such as, "It sounds like your
date went really well!" and "How did you feel when he said that to
you?") and you'll demonstrate that you're sincerely invested in
what the speaker has to say next which always makes you good
company.
From:MSN.com