Jan 14, 2007
An awkward move, now she wants to break up
Q I AM a junior college student who recently started a
relationship. Everything was going well until the girl I am dating
kissed me.
I made a sudden movement and held her head with the intention of
planting a kiss on her forehead.
Apparently, she misunderstood my action and became frightened and
upset. She left and later sent me an SMS saying that she wanted to
break up.
I tried explaining to her and apologised for whatever had happened
but she still refuses to have a relationship.
I love her very much and I committed myself to the relationship
only because she said that she was committed to it.
Please help me to make the right decision. I am devastated.
Devastated
A Dear Devastated,
Gosh, we have all been there, one time or another, when a
well-meaning action from both parties turns into a disaster.
Perhaps you can blame it on the paradox of human differences which
is reflected in books such as Men Are From Mars, Women Are From
Venus.
Nevertheless, the situation has resulted in an awkward
misunderstanding.
Your girlfriend may have been carried away by a romantic moment to
initiate a kiss. When this was not reciprocated, it may have
embarrassed her, which could have accounted for her strong reaction
when you affectionately held her head.
You do not need to make the right decision but a sensitive next
move, so here are some possible options:
Write her a letter explaining the misunderstanding and your good
intention which backfired. Ensure that this is accompanied with a
dozen red roses.
Send her a single long-stemmed rose with a couple of movie tickets
to the latest romance flick. In your note, tell her that she could
pick you as her partner to the movie.
Send her an apology card with a romantic line (if there was one)
from the movie that both of you watched.
Send her a song via a radio station.
Send her a box of chocolates with a short note.
Think creatively and I'm sure you will be able to come up with
something that will get her attention.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Counsellor
Dr Carol Balhetchet from the Singapore Children's Society has been
counselling families and their children since 1992. She is the
director of the society's Youth Development Centre in Toa
Payoh.
