As I flew home from China on SIA Economy, I sat beside this
China guy who, I think, have never flown before.
Wah lao eh, throughout the whole flight he kept spitting his phlegm
on the carpet of the plane. Everytime I hear the unmistakable sound
of a Chinaman drawing up all the phlegm from the deep recesses of
his bacteria-filled lungs, I cringe in utter fear and
disgust.
Go to the plane toilet also dunno how to lock the door, come out
also never zip pants.
And don't freakin' press every single goddamn button on the
seat.
Call the flight attendant for more tea also dunneed to 'oei' until
so loud right?
I understand you may be uneducated and uncultured, and never sat on
a plane before. That doesn't give you the privilege of discarding
any kind of common sense and moral values right?
The China gahmen has recently called spitting a national vice. They
even had to put up signs in toilets to teach Chinamen how to pee in
a proper way. Not that I'm complaining that the Chinese government
isn't doing enough to help an apathetic populace. It simply isn't
possible. At the risk of stereotyping, the fact remains that the
China Chinese are a rude, uncivilized and inconsiderate bunch of
simpletons with no ethical capacity. I don't refer to the
Once, I watching an internationally acclaimed cultural show in
Guilin, which featured many breathtaking light-shows and laser
dances with the purpose to impress tourists. It was an 'open air'
show, which means that there was no roof above my head. Despite the
godzillion number of 'No Smoking' signs and many reminders by the
crew, practically every single Chinamen smoked.
Goddammit, the rest of the audience couldn't goddamn stand the damn
smoke. I witnessed some Singaporean tourists politely asking them
to stop smoking, but the Chinamen couldn't hear reason. Oh nooo,
they have to argue and fight, scream and whine, before lighting up
a whole box of cigarettes to spite the tourists.
Like, what the hell were they thinking? No, I'm not referring to
the Chinamen, but the Singaporean tourists. I mean, why bother
arguing with these people, when they are as deaf as a pile of Panda
dung, and as stubborn as a pile of Panda dung? It is China, after
all.
There was that one time when I walked along the famous Nanjing
Street in Shanghai. Great, I thought, a cultured and civilized
megacity with well-dressed and hip people. I realized how wrong I
was when I got repeatedly snatched of a taxi and looked upon a
significant number of fist-fights because someone bumped into
another in a small street crowded with zillions of people. Oh, and
never mind the crowd, just because my phlegm requires expulsion
gives me the right to aim at just about anyone's foot.
Sometimes, I curse in English at these people, saying the worst
things that I never thought I could. Occasionally, I sympathize
with them, because their country is just so freakin' screwed up.
But every single time my experience was more physical than
psychological. You needed athletic ability to dodge phlegm shots
from 1.3 billion people. No wonder China have always won gold in
gymnastics events.
Which brings me to my next point. Beijing 2008. One world, one
dream. The Chinese gahmen invested millions and millions of RMB
into their large stadiums and swimming pools, and held many social
campaigns to educate the people of the words, "Wen Ming", or
"Civilized". Everywhere you go, you'd see signs with these words on
them. Throw rubbish in bins to be civilized; pee closer to the
toilet bowl because you're not a sniper; don't spit, etc. I haven't
been to Beijing recently to see how such campaigns worked out, but
my expectations aren't looking too good. I mean, if they can't even
read 'No Smoking' signs, why the hell would they want to pee
properly? One world, one dream? Nightmare, rather.
The problem obviously lies with the people, not the government.
There's nothing a centralised authority can do to change a society
flaw of a country that has so many people. Hence, if even the
government can't play a part, I doubt any solution is remotely
feasible.
That means that we have to live with such idiocy. With
globalisation and the opening up of China's economy, we will soon
see this degrading part of China in every country in the world.
Hell, with Singapore bringing in Foreign Talents from China, it's
no surprise what may occur. Fighting in public? Pushing people onto
train tracks? I don't even want to imagine what would happen if
Singapore becomes Chinanized.
But let's say we do imagine such a situation. What would
Chinanization of Singapore be like?
Imagine Orchard Road crowded and packed with people. Some Chinaman
bumps into you and wants an apology. You apologise but he fights
nonetheless.
Imagine public toilets with white flooring. Some Chinaman enters,
pees (without locking the door) and leaves. You notice that the
floor took on a new colour. Yellow. Maybe a little brown pile of
chocolate in the far corner.
Imagine you taking a ride on some expensive transportation. You
rest, trying to close your eyes for a quick nap. You hear the roar
of the engine, the brilliance of Chopin's Sonata for Piano No. 3 in
B Minor on your MP3 player, and suddenly the sound of phlegm going
up the oesophagus. You wake up and see greenish-yellow jelly on the
carpet beside your foot.
Oh wait, that already happened. On SIA Flight SQ803.
