Here's one!
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Ah Beng had just been enlisted into the army a week ago.
Today, Sgt Lee is introducing the SAR21 to the recruits...
SGT Lee: Ok boys, Co.ck your rifle!
However, as SGT Lee have a damn lousy pronunciation, it is heard as
"Co.ck ai- Y- First!"
Suddenly, a loud scream of pain was heard coming from Recruit Ah
Beng.
SGT Lee rushed to Ah Beng and found the recruit with his pants
down, holding his P.enis.
SGT Lee: Recruit! What the [email protected]#$! are u doing?!!!
Ah Beng *releasing the grip on his p.enis* : "Sir, u said Co.ck ai-
Y- First! what! So I twist it to make it as Y as possible lor!
"
note: 
"Co.ck ai- Y- First!"
can be translated in Singlish as "P.enis must be slanted first!
"
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Carry on with the jokes guys!