First-date affection: What's proper?

e|mo SG

First dates offer a magical sense of adventure and an uncertainty that is as exciting as it is confusing. Exciting, because both of you are venturing into unknown territory and confusing, well, because both of you are venturing into unknown territory.

One of the most exciting and confusing decisions you'll need to make on a first date is: How much physical contact is proper? To help you answer that question, we approached four twenty-something daters and asked them for their opinions on first-date affection. Here's what they had to say about touching and being touched:

e|mo SG

"The waiter came by and took our dessert order. After he left, Pete kinda leaned toward me I had my elbows on the table and took my hand. Then he started rubbing my middle finger with his thumb. I swear, I tingled."
Nicole P., 28, Asheville, N.C.

Pete had the right idea. Taking your date's hand can be warm and respectful, but it's also an excellent way to gauge the connection between you two. If your date squeezes your hand back, it is a very good sign. If your date drops your hand like a flaming spud, it is a very bad sign. Either way, you'll know where you stand.

e|mo SG

"We went to this dance club the D.J. was spinning this smokin' drum-and-bass stuff and she looked so hot. At one point she had her back to me, and she was shaking her thang, and I went up to her, put my hands on her hips, and pulled her close. She jumped away from me like I was a total mook. She did not dig that one bit."
Eric K., 20, Hackensack, N.J.

Eric blew it, and blew it big-time. You see, it's best not to slither immediately into your date's personal space, no matter how sexy or inviting he or she may look. This isn't to say that getting intimate on the first date is verboten. But make sure your date is in the mood.

e|mo SG

"He took me to dinner, then we went to see Chicago, which was really good. About halfway through the movie, he sort of stretched, then put his arm around me. It was quite the high school move, but it was also quite charming."
Anne F., 26, Santa Barbara, Calif.

Perfection. Nothing is sweeter than draping an arm around a nice pair of shoulders it conveys both a sense of innocence and anticipation. And like holding hands, it's considerate, it's charming and your date's reaction is an excellent indication of whether or not things are going well.

e|mo SG

"Bobby grabbed me and kissed me while we were waiting on the subway platform. It wasn't romantic, but it was still awesome."
Dina G., 29, New York City, N.Y.

Ahh, to kiss, or not to kiss, the eternal first date question. There are no set rules on this one you have to play it by ear and eye. In other words, listen and look. Pay attention to body language. Notice, for example, how closely he or she stands or sits next to you. Make sure you're listening to the tone of your date's voice any evidence of tension? It's all about reading signals. Apparently, Bobby read that Dina wanted to be kissed. And apparently, he was right. And hopefully, whatever happens on your first date will be right, too.