She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He
Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the
wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those
wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You
carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement,
that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce.
From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the
bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and
wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly
and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has
to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more
or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a
stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both
appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy
in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom
to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us
start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus,
I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on
my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her
blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman
carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more.
There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being
demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we
were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my
arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such
as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while
cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I
didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout
made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry
you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her
out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then
she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I
suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could
carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had
buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of
pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He
said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an
essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and
hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would
change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body
tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much
lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a
step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you
will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our
life lacked intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked
upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't
divorce. I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got
no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I
said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details
of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I
understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth
to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have
to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and
drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for
my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to
write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every
morning until we are old.
