My Little Angel

De|usi0n SG

The whole world comes to a standstill when I say you standing there, among the many people that my eyes choose to ignore. You appear just like an angel, out of nowhere, into my arc of vision. The way you carry yourself, the way you are in deep thoughts, capture me, my heart, like a caged lion, wanting to reach out and touch you, and hold you, but couldnt. All because I am just another stranger in your eyes. Only a song can spell out my feeling for you, an unknown stranger that I believed that is just a crush Dying Inside To Hold You.

Everyday, since the day I 1st saw you, I look forward to seeing you again, in that special place, where seems so normal to others, but exceptional special to me. That place I called heaven, cause I witness an angel in it. An angel that I could not hold, could not feel, could only see its beauty from far, with my heart aching with every single heartbeat. I was not long before I concluded that I wanted to know you as more than a friend, but I will have to start to be your friend, that is the 1st step. Thanks to the guidance of supernatural forces, I am able to get the address of my little angel, the cove that she lived in, a shelter so simple, yet so graceful. And thanks to the guidance of fate, I, somehow, get to know your name. The name so fitting for a look so innocent and naïve, the name which crafted itself so deeply in my mind.

With my heart filled with uncontainable excitement, I started a letter, for you, my angel. It expressed on how much I would like to have you as my friend, and I put it in the most sincere way that my command of English allows me. It was not a lengthy one, just a simple one that conveys my message to you, clearly and dearly. The letter I posted it personally into your letterbox, the only link between heaven, and me, in order to reach out to my angel. Hopefully, I waited, for your reply, regardless if its good or bad.

The minutes turns into hours and silently, turns into days. A week had past, there is no message from my angel. Is she too engrossed with her work in heaven? Is she too stuck-up for an earthling for me? There is nothing much I can do, except to wait. Every day is an agony. My heart is with you, with my letter, with all my hope still in it. The air I breathe seems so stale without hearing from you. My footsteps staggered as I pace to and forth my workplace. My mind is all you, and only you, I could not concentrate, nor could I do anything about it. I am trapped in the spell that you had gently cast on me. Finally, after a long wait that seems like forever, three weeks, you letter came. Im dumbfounded.

As gracious as an angel, the impression of the angel u gave me, u accepted me as a friend. You said that you had been busy with your work, and I wouldnt mind a single bit. Its like a dream come true, a prayer answered. My heart was filled with joy, so much joy that I felt that I was not alive till I got your hand written msg. I touch the words on the letter, the way they curved, they way they stands out to me, hoping to feel you through your writing.

skinnybeanie SG

romantic mood eh?

audlenelee SG

yawnz

Xiao Long Nu SG

kaoz seh ang mo pai

eyes pain sooo many words

De|usi0n SG

For the next few weeks, I exchanged letters with the angel. She told me through the notes how a person she was, and I describe myself to her as true as possible. I managed to have the chance to listen to the angels voice, over the man-made device known as telephone and it was sweet. It was really sweet. I just cant get enough of it. It does not take long before I found my guts to ask you out. You agreed. I could not believe that an angel would even bother me, a mere human.

We went kite flying. It was a sunny afternoon, so sunny that I would describe it as hot, but my heart was cool with you being by my side. The way you ran after the kite, jumping and giggling, makes me wanting to protect you forever, at least my lifetime. Time passes so fast that I didnt realized it slipping through the hourglass. You need to go back to the cove, the place that you belong to, the place that I will never have the chance to step into. I accompany you back, the journey ending with each MRT stop passing. I was quiet the whole while, sadden by the realization that I could not hold back time, nor could I hold you back. You snatch my wallet from my palm, and search the prized possession you obtained effortlessly, hoping to find something interesting that might start a topic, to curb the silence that fills the air. Indeed, there was something interesting, enough to keep you amuse, but didnt help much in starting a topic. It was a transit-link card, which I had carefully replaced the ugly design with the name of the angel, simple yet original, my effort at least. I had been using it since I know the name, it was part of me, a silly part which could give me the feeling of togetherness of me and you.

The angels face blushed, a glowing red, as I tucked it back quickly back into the place it belongs. The journey was silence once again. You forbid me to walk you any further nearing to your cove, the angels lair, afraid that your parents might see this insightful reunion between an angel and a mere man. I nodded, understanding the consequences if they ever found out, and watch you fade away as you distanced away from me, from my body, from me heart. However, you did not leave me hopeless, you gave me a hope, a chance to chat with you over the phone, the device that I felt thankful for the 1st time.

Over the phone, I hear my angel again, glad is how I feel. She enquires about the card, that card, and I do not know what to say, how to explain. With much effort, I managed to spell out my love for her, since the time I saw her in paradise. The conversation last for an hour or so, the longest I had ever chat with my angel, when she finally rejected me, my courtship. So she really minds that I am just a man, whereas she is the angel. My whole world falls apart, the ceiling seems to come crushing down on me, I was breathless. Not long after that, I said good bye there was nothing else to say. I was beaten, never had I been so beaten. The good bye was really good bye for the next few months, where I could not gather enough courage to approach you again, nor did you bother to contact me either. Lives goes on, yours and mine.

kohanson SG

clap clap

De|usi0n SG

In these months, I indulge myself in my work, trying to get you out of my mind, out of my life, but I couldnt. You are such an angel, your smile haunted me like a death knell, your voice speaks to me when Im alone in my room. I would think of the day, the only day that we really enjoyed ourselves, both of us only. I would smile at the thought of it, and Im surprised that I still could not get over you, after ½ a year. Finally, I decided to call you up, to check out how my little angel is doing, so make sure that she is fine, to ease my bottled feelings of missing you, thinking of you. I said hi, remember me?, you said you did. I chat with you for some time and suddenly I have this wonderful feeling that you still like me, maybe its only my imagination, maybe its just a delusi0n on my part, but I choose to gamble this once, to pop the question I had popped six months ago.

You, my angel, as if fighting against your dark side, giving yourself excuses that you have no time for a relationship and such, but I discredit them all by agreeing to your conditions, not that I agreed just to make you mine, but agreed caused I can really try to achieve the basic guidelines my angel had drawn out for me. You agreed to be my girlfriend finally, hell man that was a very long wait. A very long wait, but I promise upon myself that I will treasure you like you never know before, and treat you well, even better than myself.

We were together, happily, for the following years. There is neither conflicts nor quarreling between us, a heavenly match I think. I love my angel too much to let her cry, not bearing to hurt her, not bearing to let her to be hurt, not even a bit, no matter how minor it is. I believed that love could last forever, abit naïve on my part, although deep inside, I know it is going to be hard to achieve the fairytale, but hard as it is, I will still strive for it. It is the basic I can do to make my little angel happen, with me. Despite accommodate to her request that we should not go out so often, and chat on the phone so often as well.

But fate played a tricked on us, on our forbidden love, and news of us being together spread, somehow, I do not know how, to her parents. They had received information that my angel is seeing a mere human, and forbid on her being together with me any longer. They tare us apart just like paper, shred out relationship into a thousand pieces. On my side, I know that it is hard for my angel to tolerate this kind of torment, from her parents, and I could only let her fly away, from my hands, with my heart breaking at the same time. She ask me to wait, till she completed her studies and see how the event will unfold, and this is the only hope I have from her. The hope that kept me alive, forcing myself to take in every breath of air, forcing me to live my life day after day.

The days were intercepted when I enrolled for my army, which I somehow is looking forward to very much, an escape from the dread relationship with my own family, also an escape from the torture to live without my little angel. I welcome it with open arms. However, three months into my army, just 3 months, I heard rumors that my angel is popular in her new school, which she further her studies. I could not accept it when other guys can get in touch with my little angel, while I can do nothing about it. I heard rumors that she is on a very good term with one of her male friend, a human being, same as me.

De|usi0n SG

I was angry, hell I am really angry. She did promise a hope that we can be together after her studies, and she is now betraying me. How can my angel break her promise? How can an angel break her own promise? I could not sleep, and I am engulfed in my own anger, my own thoughts. I leave her a SMS, asking for nothing else, just a simple explanation. Even a lie that time could please me. My angel was busy with her studies, which obviously had stressed her out, and said she will give me the explanation some other day. Some other day, some other day, I could not wait. I called her and ask her right in the face, unable to control the erupting anger that is going to burst like a overfilled hot-air balloon. By doing so, I pissed her off, she rebuked me interrupting her studies and hang the phone on me. The angel I knew is no longer the same, after so many months of non-contact. My heart was heavy, my breathing too. My mind was confused, and in a fit of anger, I SMS her, for the last time: If you dont wish to say, I also dont wish to know anymore. Dont bother to find me anymore. That is the last time I hear from her. My little angel is gone forever more, not to be controlled or own by me, anymore.

..........................................................................................................

IamAngeline SG

gorz /me sayang~~~~~
over is over liaoz~~~ everything starts afresh loh~

De|usi0n SG

gd to see you back

IamAngeline SG

Embarassed

De|usi0n SG

loving you - deep down in my heart
missing you - ever since from the start
thinking of you - from dawn till dusk
for in my life you're the missing part.

my little angel