Passed down from HWZ...
Funny Exam Answers
As a teacher I mark 1000s of exam papers every year, generally this
is pretty boring but it can be enlivened by spelling errors and
other daft ideas.These are actual answers to English GCSE exams
taken by 16 year olds.
*
Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have
to live elsewhere.
*
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth
*
Actually, Homer was not written by Homer, but by another man of
that name.
*
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
*
In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the
biscuits, and threw the java.
*
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be
made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."
*
Joan of Arc was burn to a steak and was canonised by Bernard Shaw.
Finally, Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice
for the same offence.
* In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer
of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and
also wrote literature.
* Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an
apple while standing on his son's head.
* It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention
was the circulation of the blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a
historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started
smoking
*
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he
wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when
everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later
died of this.
*
During the Renaissance, history began. Christopher Columbus was a
great navigator who discovered America whilst cursing about the
Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa
Fe.
*
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire
is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
*
My personal favourite paper to mark, was completely empty apart
from one sentence.
Jesus, Please Help Me.
I wanted to give it at least one mark, but it wasnt in the mark
scheme.
http://www.richardpettinger.com/economics/funny_exam_answers
