my dad told me something that made me think, he said in the
future, the world is going to need less and less ppl to function.
that set me thinking abt my future and present. right now i can
easily get things i want, such as if i want a hp, i can get money
either from savings which is what my parents gave me or get money
from them. meaning whatever i want and use, the money comes from
them. every cent of it.
one day they are going to leave me and i will have to start my
career and support myself with every cent i earn. now i have loads
of fantasies, from buying sports cars costing millions each, buying
sprawling houses, buying giant boats for pleasure, going on weeks
on holidays. from this day, how can i create my future the way i
want it? ppl always say if u study u can get anything u want. i
know that. it's not that i dont want to study, rather it's i cant
create the motivation for me to study. when i study from some
subjects, others seem to do much better than me when they seem to
be playing so damn hard, often staying up till late.
my question to myself, how am i supposed to create my future the
way i want from now? what is my next step? often i am afraid of
trying because i am afraid i will fail yet again when i try. each
failure from tests becomes such a setback for me i dont feel like
trying because it will repeat itself again.
i always worry abt how am i going to carry myself after my parents.
my sis has no problems, she is a med student. often i know that i
can have a better chance of employment because of the nature of the
course i am studying, which is of course still not as good as a
doctor. but there will be so many of ppl in the same field as me.
how am i going to make my future?
i am already half my way thru poly. another sem is starting soon.
how am i going to make that first step is something i always wanted
to know but fail to answer myself. to me this is the reason why i
fail to motivate myself to study.while others seem to make the mark
by acting insane, playing ard, where even the weirdest of ppl are
smart.
how?
i am not expecting anyone to reply to this, rather this is just
something to air something that has been troubling me since last
night. i thought of this while watching Minority Report.
