DILBERT'S GUIDE TO STRESS
An alternative guide to stress in the workplace from Scott
Adams,creator of the Dilbert comic strip.
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they
make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along
without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the
statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't
there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them
again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception
problem.
7. My reality check bounced.
8. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape
key.
9. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
10. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
11. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level,
then beat you with experience.
12. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the
......
13. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
14. The more junk you put up with, the more junk you are going to
get.
15. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a
clipboard.
16. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
17. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look
worried.
18. Following the rules will not get the job done.
19. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more
easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
handle this?"
