MOTHER-IN-LAW

e|mo SG

Have you heard about this guy who took his mother-in-law to the
zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool.

He is now being sued by the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.

e|mo SG

The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?"

The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."

e|mo SG

Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.

Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.

e|mo SG

A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its
my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy her? She would like something electric."

The husband replied, "How about a chair??"

e|mo SG

The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed
away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."

e|mo SG

At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man, "Come my
good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law.

"Yes, I know...that's why I'm crying."

e|mo SG

A man was leaving for his office in the morning when he noticed a
most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse.
About 50 feet behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind him were 200 men walking in a single line.

The guy couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached
the man walking the dog and said, "Sir, I know now is a bad time
to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my
wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

"Sir, could I borrow that dog?"

"Get in line."