APPLICATION
FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: ___________________
I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest
authority in my life for the following period:
Date: _____ Time of departure: ______
Time of return NOT to exceed: ________
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the
locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain
from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even
speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing
below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I
consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning
for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol
allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go
out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off
with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Beer ___ Wine ___ Liquor___ Total ___
Locations to be visited:
1. Location: From: To:
2. Location: From: To:
3. Location: From: To:
Females with whom conversation is permitted: ___________
IMPORTANT STRIPPER CLAUSE: Notwithstanding the female
contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within
one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of
this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of
the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in
our relationship, and I agree its not me. I promise to abide by
your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to
cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the
right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so.
I hereby promise to take you to a Robbie Williams concert, should I
not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not
pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth
discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise
not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I
will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your
face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none
compared to my BETTER half), the above information is
correct.
Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband: __________________
Request is: APPROVED _____ DENIED ______
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip
below and carry at all times.
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the
following period of time:
Date: ____ Time of departure: _____ Time of return: ______
Signed Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife: _______[/u]
