10. She does not stop trying to reach you
You gave her your phone number, now she calls you 5 times a day at
work; pages you until you get wet; spams your inbox; and even tries
to track you down at your folks' place. You can't run, you can't
hide... but once you begin to carry your cell phone into the
bathroom to avoid missing her call, the time has come for your
friends to intervene.
9. You're not the same person
I know, people change when they are committed, some for the better.
It's all about compromise after all, but then why is it that some
dudes turn into a chameleon and totally change? Well, once you
become a diluted version of your old self (i.e. you phase out the
beer and chips and replace it with wine and cheese or you stop
thinking with your penis), your buds know that you're anwering to
someone else.
8. You don't go out with the boys anymore
Your friends... remember them? Well, they remember you. The old
you, not the one who no longer speaks his mind, and answers "how
high?" when the ball and chain yells "jump!" You never go out with
your friends anymore and they hardly call you, since they know the
outcome.
7. You use terms that should be barred
Terms like "smoochie", "angel", "buddy", "muffin", "bunny", and
"pumpkin" suddenly sneak their way into your vocabulary. Colleagues
and friends look forward to making fun of you when you use these
words.
6. Your taste for the "arts" changes
Whether you're always listening to Sarah McLachlan or you're
suddenly passing up the R-rated movies for the CF ones (Chick
Flicks), your taste has begun its transformation process. Before
you know it, you start to replace Ozzy concerts with trips to the
opera.
5. She has veto power
Any matters pertaining to scratching your head, going to see a
movie, or buying something for your bachelor pad require her
approval. Don't you miss the days when you could make a decision
without having to call the wife? All of a sudden, your opinion
never counts and you're nothing more than a messenger boy.
4. You have a curfew
You used to come home at sunrise, but now you must be tucked into
bed by sunset. If you do go out with the boys, your curfew is
suddenly 5 hours earlier and the 3rd degree awaits upon your
return.
3. You're the houseman
Your mom is impressed with your sudden ability to wash dishes and
do the laundry... and your girlfriend's mom is even more pleased.
You "volunteer" to go lingerie shopping (and know the difference
between Wonderbra and Victoria's Secret), shoe shopping, make-up
shopping, and purse shopping with your girl.
2. Your girl friends are history
Once upon a time, you would stroll into bars with a harem of women
and all the ladies would ask, "who is that guy?" But now, you're
committed and the wife gives you the death stare whenever one of
your old lady friends calls.
1. You don't deliver the punchline -- you're the
joke
Bye-bye humor. You used to crack jokes and make everyone laugh. But
with her around, you know that she will either get up in the middle
of whatever you say, or start to walk away. But you aren't this
lucky, you know that she will simply sit there and mope, raining on
your parade.
