Getting Over Your Shyness

e|mo SG

Say what you will about being able to walk over to any woman and get her number, but it's not as easy as it seems. For some, breaking the ice might be the only hard part, but for others, picking up women sounds more like a scene right out of Mission: Impossible.

It's a shame that you can't play spin the bottle all your life without ever having to worry about making contact with girls and getting them under your skin. Alas, it's not that easy; you must grab your confidence by the neck, put your inhibitions in your back pocket and get ready to conquer your shyness.

e|mo SG

are you shy?

Okay, so you might think that you're the coolest thing under the sun when you tell your friends all your chick stories. But are you really what you preach to be? It's easy to say this and that about seducing a woman, but are you that slick?

Chances are you probably bark louder than you bite. How can you know if you truly are shy -- or at least fess up that you are? There are certain indications that you might be a "shy guy", as Diana King bluntly put it in her hit song.

If you went to an all-boys school and spent years in classrooms surrounded by nothing but slow aging little boys aching to make their first contact with female flesh, then there's a good chance that you are the shy type. Put it this way: if you were never exposed to girls as a youth, you can easily develop an outer shell when it comes to grown women.

If you've never had a girlfriend (never mind just talking to a girl or standing next to a hot babe, that just doesn't cut it), you're probably the shy type, even if you think getting a girl's attention for a consecutive fifteen minutes is an exploit worth mentioning.

e|mo SG

signs you're a shy guy

I'm a loner baby
If you prefer being by your lonesome self and taking care of your own business, then you lean towards the loner type. Although this doesn't necessarily mean you'll end up being an eternal bachelor, you very well might be on your way.

You're way too friendly
After numerous rejections, some men either develop a no holds barred method to approaching women, or the complete opposite by becoming overly friendly. In the end, being too nice and cuddly will get you a peck on the cheek because you end up infiltrating the female circuit.

But don't be fooled; you only enter the female club as a bystander, but you don't get to really enjoy the goods. To understand it better, keep in mind that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

e|mo SG

get over it

If you fit the described profile of a typical shy guy, you're probably wondering what to do to get over it, right? Well, search no more. Here it is.

Force yourself to meet women
The hardest part about timidity is working up the nerve to meet a woman and maybe even get her phone number. If you were planning to stay home on a Saturday night and catch re-runs of Gilligan's Island, then think again.

Just call a buddy, head out to a night club, and put on your Don Juan persona.

Develop an alter ego
Just like Eminem has an alter ego named Slim Shady, why not develop a side of you that accentuates your good parts? I'm not saying you should have a fake personality and trick people into believing you're something you're not, but rather improve your "superficial character".

Whatever you do, just be honest and don't fool others too much; they will only come back to haunt you.

Approach women that don't intimidate you
The best way to avoid getting nervous or anxious over something is by not really caring about the outcome. This principle applies perfectly when you approach a woman that's mildly attractive and want to strike up a conversation.

By not caring about what she's going to say, you're more likely to be nonchalant about the situation, which, in turn, piques her interest.

If you recall the movie Swingers, where a bunch of guys are out to hound women, you'll remember the classic words of Jon Favreau, "Act like you don't need the sh*t, and they give you the sh*t for free." The same applies here.

Think positive and be confident
Getting over your shyness starts from within. Cheesy, yes, but true nevertheless. If you think of yourself as an asset that women would love to have, women will see this state of mind emanating from you. If you don't think you're good enough, women will feel the same.

Maintain eye contact
The importance of eye contact is that it's an extension of a high confidence level. It all begins with eye contact and usually becomes an indication of whether a man will get shot down or not.

If she looks at you and discreetly invites you over, play the game and accept her invitation. Don't forget that you can find out a lot just by looking in a woman's eyes.

Bring a friend to the bar
Being at a bar with someone can provide enough comfort when it comes to talking to women. You know that whatever happens, you'll always have your buddy to support you. Furthermore, he can give you tips as to which woman to approach first, and how.

So next time you're out looking at a beautiful woman, but don't know exactly how to approach her, remember that the hardest part is actually going over and maintaining a stimulating conversation. Once that's done, the rest is history.