somebody pls help...
i really envy people with lots of friends, that's why i'm trying
hard to change the introvert me. Many people consider me an
introvert, but i don't think so, I think i'm in between introvert
and extrovert as I can be quite 'high' sometimes.
Firstly, people consider me introvert because ppl consider my CCA
as an introvert CCA too(symphonic band) and the things i like, such
as classical music, perhaps, made me an introvert. I find that I
fare pretty badly in terms of sports. I often dare not join in the
basketball game with my friends because i never do well in that
sport and I feel very shy to play with my circle of friends who are
rather good in basketball. I believe some of ya might have the same
experience too. i.e. you dare not do something which you're pretty
bad at when you're with a group of pros. That's one reason why i
think i'm often left out by that group of friends.
Also people often see me as a quiet person who doesn't talk much. I
have been trying to talk more nowadays. But i think first
impression really counts, when people first saw me as a quiet and
inactive person, they tend to exclude me more often and now, even
though I've change a bit, my friends are still not very 'close' to
me compared to other people. Now I find it difficult to mix with
most of my friends from different circles, perhaps because of their
perception of me and hence the reluctance to call me out as I'm not
considered a very 'fun' person to them. What I'm afraid is that if
I suddenly change into a hyperactive person, they might think I'm
mad. And you know how difficult it is to not be my usual self in
front of them.
That's why I feel so lonely. Whenever I look at my friend's photos,
I feel so jealous being left out. Some people say, 'just be
yourself', but I just think that society and people just do not
accept introverts.
I realised I've changed much since I came to JC compared to when I
was in secondary school where ppl feel that I'm stranger to them.
However, I still feel very left out because whenever my ex jc
classmates and sometimes CCA friends go out, they often leave me
out. I feel that I need to do more, but how?
Can someone give me some suggestion on how to change myself before
I die of boredom and loneliness... I'm really sick, tired and
stress...
