50
cents jokes~!!! 
A boy always asks for 50 cents
from his mother. So his mother questioned the boy on why he kept
asking for 50 cents.
The boy replied that his friend told him that if you eat
50 cents worth of peanuts a day
you would become smarter.
Quickly his mother gave him $5. The boy asks Why $5, and the
mother replied, Buy 50 cents of
peanut for yourself and buy peanuts for your father with the
balance.
Teacher: If you had 50 cents in
one pocket and you asked your Dad for another 50 cents, what would you have?
Student: 50 cents.
Teacher: You obviously dont know how to add.
Student: You obviously dont know my Dad.
A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing
he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down
to the desk clerk and asked if there was a barber on the
premises.
'I'm afraid not, Sir,' the clerk told him, apologetically, 'but
down the hall is a special machine that should serve your
purposes.'
Skeptical, but intrigued, the salesman located the appropriate
machine, inserted 50 cents, stuck
his head in the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz
and whirl. Fifteen seconds later, the salesman pulled out his head
and surveyed his head in the mirror, which reflected the best
haircut he had ever received in his life.
Down the hall was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures
- 25 cents.'
'Why not,' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his
hands into the slot and pulled them out, perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a huge sign that read, 'This Machine Provides
What Men Need Most When Away from Their Wives - cost 50 cents.'
The salesman was embarrassed and looked both ways. Seeing nobody
around, he put in 50 cents, then
with great anticipation, since he had been away from his wife for
two weeks, he unzipped his pants and stuck his 'thing' into the
opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out this terrible
shriek of agony!!! Fifteen seconds later, it shut off. With
trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his 'thingy,'
which now had a button sewed on the tip.