So what about infatuation? That's
when you think of someone all the time, you go out of your way to
be around him/her, and you begin to center your priorities around
him/her as well. There is history with this person: Maybe a short
history, but maybe quite a while. You both enjoy being together.
You both daydream about each other and get all crawly in your
underwear. But is it LOVE? I mean, you hate to be wrong about this
kind of thing, especially if you have in mind perhaps reproducing
together (or maybe if you forget to think about it JUST
ONCE).
Infatuation as we are defining it here, is a static process
characterized by an unrealistic expectation of blissful passion
without positive growth and development. Characterized by a lack of
trust, lack of loyalty, lack of commitment, lack of reciprocity, an
infatuation is not necessarily foreplay for a love scenario.
People, however, have many reasons for making commitments.
Most people are infatuated with their love partners to a certain
degree. People who are in love think of their partners periodically
when they are apart (some more than others). Men seem to be better,
in general, in compartmentalizing their lives, thereby putting
thoughts of loved ones aside until the mind is free to dwell on
life. And yes, there are many exceptions and many ranges within the
genders.
So how do you know? The question, actually is simple, the answer,
however, is not easy to own or accept. And here it is: Does this
relationship bring out the best in both of you?
This is the part where you get to assess and evaluate yourself and
your partner, and your relationship HONESTLY.
Though difficult, evaluating how things are going at regular
intervals can help to give some direction (and re-direct
misdirection) to people who are self-guided toward happiness and
success. For those who are on a negative course, people who are
unhappy, confused and perhaps self-sabotaging, regular evaluation
can point out some hard truths about oneself, and/or about the
person you want to take the next step with.
