Newbie to checking in

ashlambert SG

Hi Ash here checking in...

And my story...

My girl left me for my friend...someone younger, richer and
more fun to be with.
However she told me to give her 2 years to decide who she wants to be with (whoever treats her better - all 3 of us works in the same place).
Meanwhile, I'm to reflect and try to be financially
stronger. She said at the present both stand a chance of 50/50. However, if she will to return to me, I'm to let her have control over my financial (it seems my friend knew about her worries ( plus alot other things ), although not lacking, is tight and he went and show her his account and even offer to let her have control over it.)

I understand of her worries about financial stability, but I'm already on my way of getting it ready... isn't a couple ( we were planning to get married ) suppose to work together and build everything together (although I have never and most likely will not expect her to come out with anything as her pay is low).

I'm presently covering for her by behaving like nothing has happened eg during break she still sits by my side...(and they also talk to each other less when around our other friends)don't want others to label her as bad.

I know you might think I'm the stupid type...but I'm the type that always put
others ahead of myself first and I will never do anything that might hurt her.

It just that it really hurts inside of me...

I do love her, and I believe she still has feelings for me.
It's just that she's afraid of a future where money problems might be a factor.
It stems from her family having the same issuses.

And yes its unfair for what they did to me...one is my girl and another a friend I care and trusted.

Maybe you can call my weak...I just hope they will breakup and she will return to me.

That's why I was wondering if any way I could get to know what to do...

I'm really confuse now.

I'm even thinking of seeking a future teller or some Psychics to know what I should do. Anyone can help or with similar experience can advice?

Thank you for reading my mail.
Thanks.
Ash

CasperX SG

dump her. She loves money, not you.

BufPuf SG

I think it is plain selfish for a girl to try it out with a new guy for a while and if it doesn't work, go back to the old guy.

Just like someone i know. The guy only just came out to work and building his career. The girl dumped him for someone she just knew not long. Say want to try it out with the new guy and if don't work, will patch back with him.

Dump the ger. She is only someone who can share your richness and happiness but not in tough times.

allentyb SG

there is no woman in this world, that you need to give everything

if you really treasure your ex, why not, just wish her all the best in her future

and thank her for the wonderful times that she share with you

and seriously, you will be able to find someone better than her

if you continue to dwell on her, you are going to suffer, not her, as she is happily with her current relationship

move on, or you will be living in the past

hisoka SG

she wants the best of both worlds and is a dam greedy bithc.

please dump here as soon as possible and try to get whatever you can from her in the meantime.

and please s[read her name and photo as a warning to all other innocent pple.

thanks.
hisoka

ashlambert SG

Thanks for your reply CasperX, BufPuf, allentyb, hisoka

She's actually a very nice girl (till he came along...)

We (my girl and me) both can relate as both comes from broken homes.

Me being the quiet type while she is a bit more chatty.

She really brought joy to my life, never did i expect what was to happened.

I hate myself for being
1) quiet (quiet = boring, results of coming from a broken family??),
I also has a very small circle of friends as I consider myself more of a rainy
day kind of friend...although I will go all out to help others but I tend to
distance from others when they invite me to R&R.
He even challenged me that if he give me his handphone (which I don't
have BTW) to call a friend for help can I do it.

This my friends told me is a whole lot of bull...my girl knew from the very
start that i was a quiet person.

2) poor (due to heavy family commitment as the only breadwinner)
He is the youngest and only son and comes from a happy family.
And his family can be said to be well to do...so his commitment is low.
And he's also quite pamper being the only son.

I still remember how we envy him for having such good life...

3) and being too nice to my mother (this I don't agree with them...I always
feels my mother has gone through so much to bring me up that I can never
do enough to repay her).

The above are the reasons they came up with...she always ask him to speak
to me instead of doing it herself. (My guess is most are his ideas and I cannot deny that he is smart although his smartness is always used for his own gains).

I'm to reflect on the above...and also to save up.

BTW, BufPuf did the girl patched up with the original guy?

Anyway, I now feel very useless...

Ash

BufPuf SG

u dun have to feel useless.

Fog-shu always say, he want someone who can share an umbrella with him in rainy days and not those kind who only go out during sunny days.

It's just her loss that she doesn't appreciate you.

Sad for a while and move on le.

airgrinder SG

breakoff.

Whenever someone even richer comes along, she'll be interested. And there are more than enough rich people around.

ashlambert SG

BTW, BufPuf did the girl patched up with the original guy?

Kouyou SG

jokes aside. pls TS if u r wearing specs go check your degree if u r not go check your eyesight. obviously you r jus a spare tyre for her to fall back on. n if the number in your bank account is really that important jus dump her lah... quite clearly she dun even deserve your time n attention... show her u can find someone better in the inner beauty department than her... cheers dun give up looking

2e3 SG

reading point no.3 just makes mi laugh n pity whoever came up with this reason.. we can never be too nice to our parents for wad they gave us is 10 times more than wad we're able to repay them..

the fact that "THEY" came up with this reason shows of cos how being rich n the onli son has done to this guy.And i would give the benifit of doubt to this girl taht these reasons are generated by the guy alone.. However in ur 1st post the fact that she left u for some1 hu has more $$$ then you makes mi think that these reasons came from her.

coming from a broken family we'll expected her to understand the just how precious our family members are however as stated above she doesn't seems to care.. which i can safely see problems in the furture should u marry her, it'll be 1 of those daughter-in-law fighting with mother-in law case...

you can see from this 1 problem it can lead on to many and how u still sit beside her durin lunch to avoid ppl saying that shes a bad girl is just wrong the fact is she is now with the other guy... However of cos affairs of the heart is just confuning at time so good luck dude!! hope u make de right choice Wink

WiNtEr'SkiLL SG

this girl is thrash. why will she mind if ur not rich and finacially stable if she truly LOVES u ? thats not love my friend.

this girl is really not worth ur time and effort

club18 SG

this kind of girl better break off..
wat is this? let her decide after 2 years?? Shocked Shocked
wat she expect u to do during this 2 years? wait for her?

tell her intro u to her girlfriends than tell her that u going out with 1 of them then see how.. tell her u decide whether u still wan to continue the r/s after 2 years.. see how she feel.

this kind of girl also have Mad Mad Mad

and rmb.. the problem is not with u..
she is the problem so stop blaming urself. Very Happy

ashlambert SG

First thanks for the reply.

At the moment, I guess my emotions are all over the place...
i really don't wish to do anything rash in this state.

We still have to face each other at work, must be professional,
else very difficuit to get work done.

I guess this r/s thing really is something not so simple,
there's alot to it than just love...

And to hisoka i can't do the below...it is just not right.

I guess i will be here in Hotel Heartbreak for awhile,
please bear with me. Thanks.

da-cheese-freakk SG

girls dont like boys, girls like cars and money.

A.Krishnan SG

Forget about her, you should be feeling anger instead of sadness. No point getting upset over this kind of woman.

Turn your anger into strength and work hard. Don't let her affect your work performance. Show her what she's missed.

Hopefully, your so-called 'friend' is just fooling with her feelings. If she comes running back to you, don't reject her yet.

Instead, warmly welcome her, then screw and dump.

Patrik SG

So,now,she gets the make the choice of who she wanna be with?
This is the first time i heard of this kinda thing.
I mean,during these 2 years,she can go ard,searching for other guys?Or,trying out that younger,richer and more fun guy?
If she decides that he isn't suitable for her,then what?Come running back to u?She expects you to wait for her patiently for these 2 years?
This is absurd.

mystee SG

TS,

how about letting yourself get used to a life w/o her 1st...
while... u widen ur social circle...
by the time, when u feel that u are emotionally stable, rational & calm enough..
then u decide what u wana do next...

browniebaobao SG

If I'm not wrong, I know that person too hor? Laughing

Materialistic girl. Threadstarter, dun tell me she grow up in a poor family or wat... it seems that she loves money more than you.

I think a man's finances should not be controlled by a woman, unless he's a gambler, spend money like water or people around him are always eyeing his money.

browniebaobao SG

If he does that, he's not any better either.