A Day In The
Lives of The Guinea Pig
taken from the Guinea Pig Compodium
It's 6:30 AM, and one of the humans has just awoken from a long
night of cavy dreams. As he stumbles into the kitchen, the anxious
squeaks of the guinea pigs rise to greet him. It's feeding time.
Panda comes over to the side of the cage, demanding his morning
veggies. There is no placating the savage beasts, whose fury and
temper can only be appeased by fresh greens, pellets and water
refills.
At 6:40 AM, it's feeding time. Parsley and kale for everyone!
Fortunately, the food is plentiful and the atmosphere in the cage
is one of cooperation and sharing. Shortly after the veggies have
been devoured, the feed bowls are filled so that the pigs can
satisfy their ravenous appetites with pellets
When 7:30 AM rolls in, it's time for the morning exercise. Having
loaded themselves with energy, the guinea pigs enjoy a morning of
popcorning, running and perching. Cappuccino starts off the
festivities by running in circles, over and over and over and over
and over again. Soon after she begins, Panda and Ebony join in the
fun, leading to a caviary full of flying guineas, darting and
colliding and squeaking with joy. Georgianne, ever mistrustful of
flying guinea pigs, eyes the activity cautiously from the safety of
a nearby litter bin.
By 8:15 AM, the humans have vacated the premises. The information
that follows was painstakingly pieced together from hours of hidden
camera footage
Having grown weary from an exciting morning performing their guinea
pig duties, the herd settles down for a long nap. Cappuccino finds
a soft spot in the fresh hay, and reclines. Panda and Ebony opt to
sprawl out on the carpet, stretching their legs out behind them.
Georgianne, ever mistrustful of sleeping guinea pigs, eyes the
inactivity cautiously from the safety of a nearby litter bin before
succumbing to her fatigue.
Nap time lasts until around 10:00 AM, when the guinea pigs slowly
awaken, one-by-one. Panda, ever the cavy alarm clock, signals the
end of nap time by performing the graceful, awe-inspiring, wagging
butt-dance. His ulterior motives aside, he succeeds in disrupting
the calm, peaceful air of the caviary, which soon explodes into a
flurry of activity.
10:20 AM. Ebony hops on to the internet, and surfs the Web. Though
her humans favor IBM-compatible computers, Ebony prefers her
Macintosh, which was smuggled into the home many wheeks ago, and
only recently discovered. From her PPP account, she monitors
activity on the Guinea Pigs' Daily Digest and the rec.pets USENET
newsgroup. She occasionally drops in to alt.guinea.pig.conspiracy
to communicate, using a top-secret code, with fellow guinea pig
masters around the world. Ivory and Espresso wait patiently for
Ebony to finish, so that they, too, may log on and check their
email
At 11:35 AM, the guineas prepare for the possibility that one of
the humans may return home for lunch. Ebony stashes the computer
under the hay while Ivory and Espresso tidy up the family room.
Capuccino assists Panda with doing the dishes. By 12:10 PM, the
rooms are as they were when the humans left in the morning, so that
suspicions will not be aroused. Georgianne, ever mistrustful of
cleaning guinea pigs, eyes the activity cautiously from the safety
of a nearby litter bin.
The sound of approaching footsteps are heard at 12:15 PM. Could the
human be returning? Panda takes the position of "lookout", and
watches for signs of the human's arrival. When the footsteps reach
the front doorstep, he gives the signal: the guinea pigs scramble
for their assigned locations, and feign sleep.
By 12:55 PM, the human has left again, after preparing a short
lunch and tending to piggie duties, such as checking the water
bottles and cleaning around the cage. After the car has driven off,
the guinea pigs emerge from their hiding places and prepare for
their long afternoon.
It is now 1:15 PM. While Ebony and Ivory make a grocery run for
more cranberry juice and some ice, Espresso and Cappuccino check
the local TV listings for good afternoon movies. Panda, preferring
more intellectual pursuits, heads off to the library to locate some
reading material
At 2:30 PM, Cappuccino and Espresso give up on afternoon television
and instead opt for a laserdisc. Georgianne sets up the home
theatre system while Ebony and Ivory finish pouring drinks. Panda
returns from the library at 3:15 PM, just in time to catch the last
hour of The Secret Garden.
The time is 4:30 PM, and the guineas must once again clean up in
preparation for the humans' return. Espresso and Cappuccino put
away the laserdics and clean the family room while Ivory and Ebony
tidy up the kitchen. Panda vacuums up poops and loose strands of
hay. Georgianne, still mistrustful of cleaning guinea pigs, eyes
the activity cautiously from the safety of a nearby litter bin. By
4:55 PM, the house is once again returned to its previous state,
just in time for the humans' arrival.
The first human comes home at 5:00 PM, and immediately comes to the
caviary to snuggle with the pigs. After a long day of hard work,
the guineas are overjoyed to share some contact with their human
companion. Each cavy waits anxiously for his or her turn to be
petted; they are so excited, they can hardly contain
themselves.
The next human arrives at 5:40 PM. This gets the guinea pigs even
more excited, since that means feeding time is less than an hour
away. In an effort to charm the humans into giving them larger
portions of fresh greens and veggies, Cappuccino begins popcorn
jumping and Panda does his hypnotic, wagging butt-dance. Ebony and
Georgianne squeak an accompaniment, while Ivory remains cool and
collected
Feeding time happens at 6:15 PM, and the cavies are excited by
loads of fresh veggies and parsley. As they devour their latest
offering, the human refills their feed dishes and changes their
water.
By 7:30 PM, the guinea pigs are ready for bed, having been tired by
their long, hard day at work. Shortly after 8:00 PM, the humans
change the hay in their home, giving them plenty of insulation for
the night, which they munch on contentedly as they slowly fall
asleep.
Yes, being a guinea pig is, indeed, a full-time job 
