1. Never walk without a
document in your hands (Punter's guide?
)
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking
employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in
their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People
with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the
toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you
at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer
hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look
busy (Surf more SGForum 
)
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and
generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to
work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the
proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but
they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you
*will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching
yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training
dollars.
3. Messy
desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us,
it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of
documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work
looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them
high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury
the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and
rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice
Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call
you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they
call because they want YOU to do work for THEM.
That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If
somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like
impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not
there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even
though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and
Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you
are always busy.
6. Leave the office
late (stay behind for more SGF surfing
)
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still
around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always
wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make
sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important
emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during
public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for
Effect (go AA forum to learn )
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the
impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking
Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots
of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the
best).
9. Build
Vocabulary (For this can refer to Bear aka
Gentlebear )
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and
new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with
bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you
say, but you sure sound impressive.
10. MOST
IMPORTANT:
HOPE YOUR BOSS DUN SURF
SGForums
