by Ruth Smythers, beloved wife of the Reverend L.D. Smythers of
the Arcadian Methodist Church of the Eastern Regional Conference.
Published in the year of our Lord, 1894, Spiritual Guidance Press,
New York City.
I read it with nicky and i thought it
was really funny...
To the sensitive young woman who has had benefits of proper
upbringing, the wedding day is ironically, both the happiest and
the most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is
the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in
a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in
securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her
life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during
which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the
first time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some
young women actually anticipate the wedding night with curiousity
and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual
husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be
forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE
GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise, what could have been a proper
marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While
sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be
endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is
compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced
through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the
groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband
would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and
only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and
unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The
wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences
weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she
should make every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's
best friends in this matter. Arguements, nagging, scolding, and
bickering also probe very effective, if used in the late evening
about an hour before the husband would normally commence his
seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of
denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A
good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to one a
week by the end of the first year of marriage.
By the tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their
child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating
all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend
upon his love for the children and social pressure to hold the
husband in the home.
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low
as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting
the kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if
given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most
revolting practices. These practices include among others
performing the normal act in abnormal positions: mouthing the
female body: and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in
turn.
Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing
photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are other
obnoxious habits the male is likely to aquire if permitted.
A wise bride will make it her goal never to allow her husband to
see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his
unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be
practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful
to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for
their husbands. These should be donned in seperate rooms. They need
not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is
exposed.
Once a bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she
should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes
groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her
direction, lest he take this as a sigh of encouragement. She should
let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will
stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse
to deny him sexual access.
When he finds her; the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily
motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the
optimistic husband.
If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she shuld turn her head
slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If
he attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the
gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature
calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to
kiss in the forbidden territory.
If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the
wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial nonsexual question to
ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no
matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having
sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous
embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no
farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of
his pajamas to thus make connection.
She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while
he is huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly
still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the
act is in progress.
As soon as the husband has completed the act the wise wife will
start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to
perform on the 'morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their
sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after
the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace
in this period from him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged
to soon try for more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the
fact that the husband's home, school, church and social environment
have been working together all through his life to instill in him a
deep sense of guilt in regardst to his sexual feelings, so that he
comes to the marriage couch apologetically and subdued.
The wise wife seizes upon this
advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later
to annihilate completely, her husband's desire for sexual
expression.
