Attention all passengers:
There will be no more train service for the next two days at
these stations:
(All stations affected by JEMP)
Our friendly staff are giving you 10 alternate
options.
1)bribe our staff into giving you a piggyback ride as a shuttle
service(if you are not above 10,000kg)
2)Use our linking shuttle bus service that connects Sentosa
& Pulau Ubin(which has no point at all)
3)Hail down our SMRT taxicabs at a discounted price(only if you
travel 100km)
4)Go cycling!its green,clean,(& kills if you ride it on the
main road)
5)derail our trains before driving them at your own control(but
do that after your death sentence)
6)Go walking!It is good exercise and has no carbon footprint!(If
it dosen't flood or drought)
7)Buy a car!(And then sell it after you use it)
8)walk on our railway tracks for free!(And get irritated by lots
of construction noise)
9)Take public buses!They are a good alternate option & are
more diverse!(And jurong east interchange have only SBST buses)
10)Just stay home and watch TV
We do hope you enjoy these alternate options,and sorry for any
inconvenience caused.(No offence to SMRT or anyone)
I'll stay home and watch TV, thanks.
