Okay, let me start:
A judge and a lawyer were having a drink at a bar. They then
boasted about the size of their penis and decided to challenge each
other to see whose is longer.
When they both took out their penis, the lawyer noticed the
judge was fiddling with his penis.
Lawyer: Objection your honour, you are tampering with the
witness.
Judge: Objection overruled. I was only trying to refresh the
witness's memory.