Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks
they're jokes.
1. Lawyer and
Engineer
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean when they
got
to
talking. The lawyer mentioned, "I'm here because my house
burned
down
and everything got destroyed by the fire. The insurance company
paid
for
everything."
"That's quite a coincidence," remarked the
engineer. "I'm here
because
my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood.
My
insurance
company, too, paid for everything."
There was a brief pause, and then the puzzled lawyer asked, "How
do
you
start a flood?"
2. Fair and
Square
Taking his seat in chambers, the judge faced the opposing
lawyers.
"I
have been presented by both of you with a bribe," the judge
began.
Both
lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.
"You, Attorney Leoni, gave me $15,000. And you,
Attorney
Campos,
gave me $10,000."
The judge reached in his pocket a pulled out a check,
which he
handed
to Leoni.
"Now, then, I'm returning $5,000, and we are going to decide
this
case
solely on its merits."
3.
I'm Innocent!
"How is it that you can't get a lawyer to defend you?" the
judge
asked
the prisoner.
"Well, yer honor, it's like this. As
soon as those lawyers
found
out I didn't steal the money, they wouldn't have anything to
do
with
me."
4.
Lawyer on Vacation
A lawyer was on vacation in a small farming town. While
walking
through
the streets on a quiet Sunday morning, he came upon a
large
crowd
gathered by the side of the road. Going by instinct, the
lawyer figured that there
was
some sort of auto collision. He was eager to get to the
injured
parties
but couldn't get near the car.
Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me
through!
Let
me through! I am the son of the
victim."
The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a
donkey.
)
